


Time After Time

by AverageMarvelBitch



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Brief mentions of Peggy Carter/Angie Martinelli, F/F, F/M, M/M, science that would make real scientists weep, shit happens and tony does not grow old, tags may change as we progress, tony and steve met during the war
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:34:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23740138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AverageMarvelBitch/pseuds/AverageMarvelBitch
Summary: Tony Stark and Steve Rogers met during WWII. Steve died to save his country and Tony lived on, incapable to let his first love go.Years passed, Tony is still alive and unaged due to a lab accident so many years ago. He believes his immortality is a punishment. The only thing keeping him from taking his own life is the promise he made himself and Steve all those years ago: to find the Captain's body and give him a proper funeral. Then, he'll be at peace. Then, he'll be able to die.Everything changes when S.H.I.E.L.D finds the Valkyrie.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 67
Kudos: 208





	1. Prologue

It was one of those nights, in which his mind wandered back to the past, to a time when he could still believe his dreams could come true. The memories were happy in their content, but time had made them bittersweet. They sometimes brought a smile to his face, but it never lasted, for the tears and the heartache soon followed. Remembering what it was like to feel true happiness… only for reality to come crashing down, making him realize he would never feel this way again.

He took another sip from his glass, the whiskey burning his throat as it went down. The gentle melody coming from the speakers kept his soul calm, even when his mind exploded with noise and light, filled with images of a life long gone. He could his face every time he closed his eyes; kind blue eyes and a shy smile. Sometimes, the face in his mind morphed into a battle ready one; eyebrows furrowed, the lightness in those eyes replaced by a darkness that only war could bring. Even then, with anger clear in his face, he was beautiful.

Tony raised his hand to his chest, like he often did when thinking about his captain, only to feel the coldness of the arc reactor. It was fitting, in a way. He had lost his heart long ago, buried it in the arctic ocean along with his love, and now here he was, barely kept alive by something of his own creation, patiently waiting for the day when the shrapnel surrounding what was left of his heart would finally hit it, piercing its flesh, taking his breath… ending his life. Had he not asked for this so many times over the decades? Begged, even, for the sweet release of death? He should be thankful for it.

He took another sip and threw the glass away. It hit the nearby wall, shattering into a thousand pieces. He heard the familiar sounds of Dum-E rolling towards the mess, probably ready to clean it up. His head was starting to hurt, but the pain was welcome. Pain was all he felt nowadays anyway.

_ Sir, perhaps it is time for sleep?  _ JARVIS said in a soft tone.

“Not right now, J. Maybe later”, he replied, his voice a bit slurred from all the drinking.

_ As you say, sir,  _ the AI responded with an undertone of exasperation. He knew his creator well enough to know that ‘later’ meant ‘not any time soon’.

“Play it again, J.”

The AI complied.

_ “Come in, this is Captain Rogers, do you read me?”  _ the familiar voice filled the room, making Tony’s heart ache.

_ “Captain Rogers, what is your…” _

_ “Steve, is that you? Are you alright?” _

Tony closed his eyes as his own voice echoed across his workshop, the worry clear in his tone.

_ “Tony! Schmidt’s dead!” _

_ “What about the plane?” _

A short pause. It was funny. Tony remembered it being much longer at the time.

_ “That’s a little bit tougher to explain”. _

_ “Give me your coordinates. I’ll find you a safe landing site”. _

_ “There’s not gonna be a safe landing… but I can try and force it down”. _

By now, the tears were falling freely from his eyes.

_ “Don’t. Just… Just give me a minute, I can try to…” _

_ “There’s not enough time. This thing is moving too fast and it’s heading for New York”,  _ yet another goddamn pause,  _ “I gotta put her in the water”. _

Tony could almost feel the soft touch of Peggy’s hand on his shoulder. She had been there, standing beside him. She knew about them. Hell, she was one of them. Even though he couldn’t hear it in the recording, he knew that she, right at that moment, she had just kicked both Morita and Philips from the room. Even in that awful moment, she was there, doing what she could to give them some privacy.

_ “Please, don’t do this. We have time. We can work it out”. _

_ “Right now I’m in the middle of nowhere. If I wait any longer, a lot of people are gonna die”. _

“Idiot. Stupid self-sacrificing idiot”, Tony murmured to himself, though his words had no heat at all.

_ “Tony… This is my choice”. _

There was a long pause. So many things they wanted to say to each other, but couldn't because others could be listening to their conversation; because the military would certainly listen to the recording after all was said and done.

_ “Peggy?” _

He remembered this moment. God, Steve had always been one creative son of a bitch.

_ “I’m here” _ , Peggy replied.

_ “I’m gonna need a rain check on that dance”. _

One little phrase and Tony fell to the ground, fully crying now, just as he had all those years ago. The dance. God, the dance. Yet another promise the war had taken from them. Even though Peggy wasn’t there in the workshop with him, he could still feel the memory of her hand squeezing his own as she replied.

_ “All right”,  _ she had said with a choked voice, sending Tony a sad smile, _ “A week, next Saturday, at the Stork Club”. _

Tony smiled, shaking his head. The place where they had their first date. No one knew it was a date, of course not, and they hadn’t been able to touch each other at all, but it still had been an important piece of their story. Peggy really was an amazing woman.

_ “You got it”, _ came Steve’s voice, wavering,  _ “You know, I still don’t know how to dance. I know you tried to teach me a bit, but I might still step on your toes”. _

Yet another memory lightened up his mind. Both men in the middle of a small living room, hidden away from everything and everyone. They laughed as Tony tried to teach Steve how to dance.

Peggy, apparently, had nothing more she could say. She stayed silent, holding Tony down, trying to console him.

_ “We’ll tell the band to play something slow. I’d hate to step on your…” _

_ “Steve?”  _ Tony’s voice echoed through the room once more,  _ “Steve?” _

And that was it. No proper goodbye, not even a chance to say I love you. Tony stayed there, sitting on the floor, hugging his own knees close to his chest. For a moment, he wished Peggy was there with him, to hold him just like she had done that day. But Peggy was far away and Tony was alone.

With a deep breath and closed eyes, he whispered to his AI, “Play it again”.

_ “Come in, this is Captain Rogers, do you read me?” _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is dying, there is no denying it. Even though he still has hope that somehow he will find a replacement for the palladium, he is a practical man, always has been. And so, he starts to get his affairs in order.  
> With his imminent death, he reminisces...

Pepper was angry at him. Actually, that was an understatement. Pepper was more than angry, she was furious. Tony knew this because he could very clearly see the little vein in her forehead pulsing like crazy. The fact that she was screaming at him was also a sign.

“I cannot believe you did that! After I specifically told you to behave!”, she shouted while typing away on her phone, probably trying to fix the mess Tony had just made.

“In my defense…”, he started to say, but quickly stopped when Pepper threw him a glare.

“You had a script. You literally had a script. All you had to do was follow the fucking script, Tony”, she continued to talk in a stern tone, putting her phone away when the flight attendant asked her to, “Why on Earth did you think it would be a good idea to antagonize the United States government?”

“The people were loving it”, he tried to counter, receiving yet another glare.

“Of course they were loving it. They were the press, Tony! You just made their week!”

“Well, at least someone is happy”, he mumbled, touching the arc reactor absentmindedly. 

“Don’t joke. I am not in the mood for jokes, Tony”, Pepper sighed, accepting the cup of tea offered to her by the flight attendant, and turned to look at her friend, “I’m not saying they were right, because they weren’t. I agree with you… They shouldn’t have the suit, I don’t trust them to have it, but they can make our lives difficult. You didn’t have to openly mock them like that”.

Tony took a deep breath and nodded, figuring it was best to agree with Pepper before she decided to take off her Jimmy Choo to throw it at his face.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it. I’ve just been…”, he trailed off, shaking his head and turning his eyes towards the window, watching the clouds pass them by, “I’ve been a little on edge lately, I’m sorry”.

“I noticed”, she replied softly, the worry clear in her eyes, “Is it because of the search?”

Tony didn’t reply right away. He continued to stare at sky outside, breathing in and out in a steady manner. He technically wouldn’t be lying if he said his tension was because of the search for Steve’s body, which had, once more, failed. This particular failure, although common in his life by now, definitely had a part on his foul mood of late, but it wasn’t the sole reason for it. The problem wasn’t that he had failed to find his lover’s body yet again… the problem was Tony was going to die soon. He was going to die and this would become yet another promise he was unable to keep. He was going to die and Steve would spend God knew how many more years lost in the vastness of the arctic ocean, completely alone. What if he was found after Tony was long dead? There would be no one to mourn him, no one to cry over his coffin, no one to reminisce over a toast to his accomplishments. Worst of all, there would be no one to protect him, to stop the government from desecrating his body in search for information about the serum.

“Tony?”

He blinked back to reality, turning his eyes to Pepper once more.

“I’m sorry. I was just thinking…”

“Tony, what the hell is happening to you lately? You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I know”, he smiled at her, “I’m fine, really, don’t worry about it. You’re right, the search coming up empty yet again just messed with my head… but they’re going again, so…”

“Already? Don’t you usually give them a few weeks of rest?” Pepper asked, her eyes widening in surprise at his words.

“Yeah, Robert and I talked, he decided to take the crew back sooner rather than later”, he said, carefully letting out the part where he had told Robert he was dying and begged him to search at least one more time before he left this world. The ship’s Captain had no idea of what Steve meant to Tony, but he was well aware of how important this was to him, and so he had agreed. Tony had doubled their payments after that, as a thank you.

“I see”, Pepper replied, still seeming very much suspicious of the whole thing. He knew she would most likely give Robert a call to make sure everything was indeed alright, but Tony was certain the man would keep this particular piece of information for himself, just as he’d promised.

“I should get some sleep. Do you mind?”

“Go ahead. You’ve been looking really tired these days, you could use some rest”, Pepper replied, taking a book from her purse and opening it, as if to show him she would be able to entertain herself just fine without him.

Tony nodded and got up, walking towards the couch on the other end of the plane, very much aware that Pepper watched his every step. He laid down on it with his back to her and discreetly took the small device from his pocket. He winced slightly at the prickle on his finger and quickly put it in his mouth, slightly tasting the blood.

_ Blood toxicity: 25% _

He sighed, putting the device back in its hiding place, and got comfortable. Might as well get some sleep. Tony closed his eyes and couldn’t help but think about Steve.  _ Please, let me find him before I go _ , he prayed to a God he didn’t quite believe in,  _ just let me find him so I can die in peace. _

* * *

So Pepper was mad again. ‘Furious and ready to claw your eyes out with a stiletto’ had quickly become her default setting these days. Tony couldn’t blame her for it, not when she had every reason to scream bloody murder at him. First, he had opted out of all meetings - and by opted out he meant bailed without a second thought. Then, he had canceled every single appointment from now to the end of the year; every appearance at charity balls, every interview in major TV programs, every work trip. But the one thing that had really made Pepper lose her mind, the thing that had her pulling her hair as she shouted, was the fact he had just donated his entire art collection to the…

“BOY SCOUTS OF AMERICA! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO SOMETHING SO FUCKING STUPID, ANTHONY”.

He winced at the use of his given name. She never called him that unless she was ready to commit murder. 

“TEN YEARS! TEN YEARS I SPENT CURATING THAT COLLECTION AND IT ONLY TOOK YOU, WHAT? FIVE MINUTES TO DESTROY ALL MY HARD WORK!”

Tony sat there, feeling more uncomfortable than he had ever felt in his life. Being scolded by an angry woman wasn’t exactly something new in his life; he had been friends with Peggy Carter for years now and she never missed a chance to call him out on his stupidity, but this situation was different. He couldn’t argue back, he couldn’t try to explain himself, because to do any of these things he would have to come clean with Pepper and he just wasn’t ready to do that. He didn’t think he would ever be ready for that.

Pepper had been the second person Tony had told his story to; the first had been Rhodey. He had met her for an interview many years ago and she had been absolutely perfect for the job. Smart, educated, great at multitasking and completely immune to Tony’s bullshit. The whole damn package. She had been working for him for two years when Hammer had tried to buy her off, paying an exorbitant amount of money for inside information from SI. Pepper had declined and threatened to press charges. When Tony had asked her why she hadn’t taken the money, she replied with a sincere “ _ Because I like you, because you’re fair, sincere and you respect me; that’s very hard to find as a woman in this business” _ . He had been so moved by her sincere display of loyalty that he had told her everything, from start to finish. Pepper hadn’t quite believed him at first… until he took her to his private office and shown her the pictures. She had been surprised and somewhat confused, but had accepted his story as nothing but the truth. Ever since then, Pepper had been an essential part of his life. Lying to her felt like a dagger through his heart, but he just wasn’t ready to look her in the eye and admit defeat.

“I’m trying to understand your motivation behind your latest decisions, but I just don’t get it. The company is falling apart, the Stark Expo is a huge waste of time and money, you’re losing important partnership prospects because you refuse to meet them, and now you’re making a garage sale of modern art. I just don’t understand this, it’s like you don’t want to run your own company!”

“I don’t. You do it”.

They looked at each other, both surprised at the words that had just come out of Tony’s mouth.

“I’m trying to run your company…”, Pepper started to argue again, almost shoving the big black folder in her hands.

“No, you don’t get it”, Tony replied, pushing the folder away, “I’m making you CEO”.

Pepper blinked at him, her face void of any emotion.

“You can’t do that”.

“Yes, I can”.

“You shouldn’t do that”.

“Yes, I should”.

“You are not going to make me CEO, Tony”.

“Uh, yeah, I’m gonna”.

Pepper sighed, shaking her head at him. She covered half her face with one hand, clearly done with the subject.

“You are the CEO”.

“Yeah, I’m aware of that”, he replied, cutting her off before she could say anything else, “and I’m telling you I want you to be CEO”.

“Why?”

“What?”

She crossed her arms across her chest and looked at him, eyes half shut in suspicion.

“Why do you want to step down as CEO?”

After a deep breath, Tony answered, “I want to enjoy my life. I want to have more time for myself, to create and design and revolutionize the modern world”.

He wasn’t lying. He really did want more time, just not for those reasons.

“Why me, then?”

He snorted. “You’re joking, right? You’re Virginia Potts. You have a business degree and a doctorate in Finances from MIT”, he started enumerating the reasons, showing his fingers, “you know the company better than anyone I know; you care about the company and its future; you can bring a grown man down with only one stare; you’re respected by all employees and partners; you’re diplomatic and fair… should I keep going?”

Pepper, living up to her nickname, went completely red from head to toe in what Tony could only assumed was a pleased embarrassment.

“I’m glad you think all that…”

“Oh, come off it, Pep. There’s no need to play coy with me…”

“... and you’re absolutely right. I’ll take the job”.

Tony smiled. “Really?”

“Yes, Mr. Stark”, she replied with a smile of her own.

“Great! Get me the papers as soon as possible and we’ll make it happen”, he said, getting up from his chair and giving his friend - and soon to be boss - a big hug, “Thank you, Pepper”.

“Are you really sure about this?” she questioned him yet again, hugging him back.

He buried his face in her shoulder with a smile and sighed, “There is no one I would trust more with my legacy”.

They continued to hug for a moment more before Tony took a step back, clapping his hands together in excitement.

“Right, we need to celebrate! JARVIS, do we have champagne?”

_ There is a bottle of Goût de Diamants that has been anxiously waiting for such an occasion, sir. _

“Great! After you, my lady”, Tony said, letting Pepper lead the way to the stairs, “Let’s order some pizzas as well, J.”.

_ Making your usual orders right now, sir. _

“Of course you want to eat pizza with a million dollars champagne”, Pepper laughed, shaking her head at her friend just as they started climbing up the stairs, “No pineapple this time, JARVIS”.

_ I assure you, Miss Potts, that travesty shall not be repeated ever again. _

As Pepper laughed and walked in front of him, Tony let his face fall for a moment, touching the arc reactor on his chest with a dark look. Making Pepper his CEO and eventually majority shareholder was just one more step towards the end… his end, at least. He couldn’t help but smile, though, knowing that his legacy would be in good hands after his demise. He quickly sobered up, his smile becoming more genuine as watched his friend’s happiness. Pepper deserved this, she had earned this. He only hoped to live long enough to help her through the transition.

Their celebration had lasted until late at night, when Pepper, more than a bit tipsy, was escorted home by Happy, leaving Tony behind. He had walked around the house for hours, just aimlessly wandering from one room to the other, touching the walls, trying to commit every detail to his mind. He had designed that house all by himself, helped built it with his own two hands. He had lived there longer than he had lived anywhere else. It was his safe haven, the one place he could feel truly home. It was hard to accept the fact that all of this would be left behind, probably sold to the highest bidder after his death. He could only hope the next person to live there would care for it as much as he did.

He slowly walked up the stairs to the second floor and entered his bedroom. The bed, big enough for two, sat unmade, with pillows thrown all around it. Once upon a time, someone slept beside him on that bed, someone he had loved dearly; not as much as he loved Steve, no, he didn’t think he was able to ever feel love to that intensity again, but still… someone he had loved and maybe even pictured a future with for the first time in decades. Either way, that person was gone… Steve was gone… and Tony was, as always, alone.

He stood in front of the window, admiring the beautiful view. He couldn’t remember the last time he had stopped to appreciate the scenery outside. To be fair, the ocean didn’t bring him the best of memories, but even he couldn’t deny it… it was breathtaking. Steve had loved the ocean once. Tony laughed when the memory filled his mind.  _ We should go to Coney Island when we get back to New York _ , he had said one night after the engineer had told him he had never been there before,  _ I’ll show you around and we can just lie on the beach and relax.  _ To this day, Tony still hadn’t been there. He didn’t mind, really. It would feel weird to stand there, in the middle of the beach, without Steve by his side.

He turned his back to the view and walked towards his king-sized bed, crouching beside it and sticking his hand under it, trying to find something. It look him a few seconds to get it out, but he finally did it, pulling it with some difficult towards himself. The something in question was a large black box with a small ‘Stark’ written on the bottom right. At first glance, it seemed like the box had no opening. It was perfectly smooth, with no lock or anything that could suggest it could be opened. Tony slowly traced the letters before opening his hand to gently put it on top of the container. A soft blue glow shone bright under his hand for just a moment before disappearing and, a second later, the box opened.

He raised the lid and carefully put it to the side. No one had ever seen the contents of that box; not Pepper, not Rhodey, not Peggy, not anyone. In fact, the only other being in the universe who knew about its very existence was JARVIS and his AI would never betray his trust on that matter, so his treasure chest, as he liked to call it in his head, was perfectly safe.

Tony took a deep breath, eyes closed to calm his rapidly beating heart, before opening them again and taking a long look at the contents of the box. His memories, his hopes, all safely lying inside.

“JARVIS, play the song”.

The soft notes began to fill the room, taking his mind to a time long gone. Tony had never been much of a fan of the music of his own time. Songs from the 40s lacked something that he couldn’t quite name and he had always thought so. He much preferred the 70s and 80s. Now that was music. Steve, though… Steve loved music. Especially the romantic ballads; and this one, the one playing right now, bringing tears to his eyes, had been one of his favorites. Sometimes, when Tony listened to the song with his eyes closed, he could hear Steve’s soft voice in his ear.

_ You'll never know how many dreams _ _  
_ _ I've dreamed about you _ _  
_ _ Or just how empty they all seemed without you _ _  
_ _ So kiss me once, then kiss me twice _ _  
_ _ Then kiss me once again _ _  
_ _ It's been a long, long time _

He shook his head and turned his attention to the box once more. There were many objects inside, each and every own holding a piece of his history, his life… his soul, even. He took the small strip of pictures first, as he always did every single time, and smiled at the memories it brought. They had been stationed at some town Tony couldn’t for the life in him remember… Was it somewhere in England? Maybe France? He wasn’t sure. All he remembered was how tired they all were; hopeless, lost, homesick. Even their recent victory against Hydra had not been able to bring peace to their minds nor a smile to their faces. Dum Dum was having absolutely none of that. Tony laughed quietly as he remembered his friend entering the small, improvised bedroom the brass had gotten them, yelling that there was an amusement park in town and they were all going.

It had been a fun day. The park did not have many attractions, but it was enough to take their minds off the horribleness of the world, if only for a couple of hours. Steve had spotted a photo booth and immediately told Tony about it. Happy to humour his lover, he had let himself be pulled inside the small booth. They had made faces at the camera and even dared to kiss once. Steve couldn’t keep the pictures with himself, in case something happened and they were discovered, so Tony was more than happy to keep them all to himself. It had been a fun day amongst so many bad ones.

He put the picture back in the box and took out two others: a framed photo of Steve alongside his mother, Sarah, whom Tony unfortunately had never had the opportunity to meet; and a picture of Bucky and Steve, taken days before Bucky… days before the train incident.

“Bet you two are driving everyone crazy up there”, Tony said out loud, smiling sadly at their faces, “Idiots”, he completed fondly before putting the photos back.

He spent several hours sitting there on the warm carpet, Steve’s song playing on repeat as he reminisced. Sometimes, he’d smile at the memories; other times, he’d let the tears fall freely. So many good memories, so many bad ones as well. At one point, when his legs started to hurt from sitting down for too long, he took the strip of pictures out again and lied down on the carpeted floor. He longingly stared at the two happy faces and smiled.

_ So kiss me once then kiss me twice _ __  
_ Then kiss me once again _ _  
_ __ It's been a long, long time

He unconsciously touched the arc reactor with his other hand, covering it.

“I’ll be there real soon. Just wait for me a little longer, okay?”, he whispered, bringing the picture closer to his heart, closing his eyes and letting the song take his mind away.

_ It’s been a long, long time _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is doing well! Please, leave kudos and comments if you like it! 
> 
> The song mentioned is called "It's Been a Long Long Time" and it played during CA:TWS and Avengers Endgame! Even though I didn't like that Steve went back in time to be with Peggy, I absolutely loved the song and couldn't resist using it for the fic!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony throws a party, is tricked by a beautiful spy and decides to trust someone unexpected, if only just a bit.

It was too much. The music was too loud; the conversations too fake; the lights blinking so much it was giving him a headache. Once upon a time, Tony would’ve enjoyed this, would’ve been dancing amongst the beautiful half-dressed woman who smiled and winked at him every chance they got. Today, however, he didn’t feel like dancing. In fact, he couldn’t for the life in him recall why he had thought throwing himself a birthday party was a good idea. He hated these people and he was in no mood for the loud electronic music playing in the background. _ I should have listened to Pepper _ , he thought to himself, taking another sip from his drink.

He watched Natalie, his new assistant, from where he was standing, close by the door that led to his workshop. She ran from one side of the house to the other, making sure everything was okay and everyone had what they needed. Tony had to admit, she would’ve made a good actual assistant if she wasn’t a spy. He felt the anger once again slithering its way inside his brain and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself. He should’ve known. Natalie Rushman, or Natasha Romanoff, had been hired by Stark Industries a little while after he came out as Iron Man. She’d been put on the Legal Department as an assistant and, according to HR, was a very professional, very capable young woman. Tony shuddered to think just what the so very capable miss Rushmanoff was doing inside his company.  _ Probably looking for a way to get the Iron Man suit _ , he thought,  _ good luck with that, Fury. _ Truth be told, though, he wouldn’t have even realized she was a spy if it hadn’t been for the whole boxing incident. At first glance, he had assumed she was just a pretty face, but her resume said differently. She was qualified, overqualified for the position, actually, not to mention the pictures. If all of that hadn’t been suspicious enough to set the paranoid alarm bells inside his head ringing, the whole ninja move on the boxing ring would’ve done the trick. Immediately after that, Tony had sicced JARVIS on her and on SHIELD’s system. They quickly found out about her true identity. While her mission objective had not been specified on the files, it wasn’t hard to guess what she was after. Tony had decided to make her his assistant after that, just so JARVIS and himself could keep a closer look at the little SHIELD spy. So far, however, miss Rushman had not tried anything. It confused and frustrated him.

“Tony, come on, come dance”, the blonde called from the middle of the room, clearly intoxicated.

Tony forced himself to smile and gestured a negative, only letting the smile slide off his face once the blonde had found entertainment somewhere else. As discreetly as he could, he pressed the right numbers on the keypad beside him and quickly went down the stairs to his workshop. He was done with this party.

The lights came to life all at once as soon as he stepped foot inside the workshop. He sat at the nearby stool and smile when he heard the familiar sound of his bots coming closer. U was the first to greet him, moving his claw in excitement, with Butterfingers right after him, holding a big lit candle. The robots stopped in front of him, offering him said candle to blow. Tony laughed, shaking his head at both of them, and was ready to blow on it when he suddenly felt cold and wet all over. He looked to the side with a scowl, water dripping from his hair and face, as DUM-E stood there, a small bucket still in his claws, happily beeping at himself for putting out the fire. The other robots beeped back, sounding exasperated with their ‘big brother’.

_ DUM-E apologizes, sir,  _ JARVIS said in an amused tone,  _ and he wishes you a happy birthday, as do Butterfingers and U. _

Tony shook his hair with his hand, trying to get at least most of the water out.

“Thanks, children”.

“Having fun?”

He looked up only to see Pepper and Rhodes standing on the door, smirking at him.

“What happened?” Pepper asked, coming closer.

“DUM-E thought there was a fire emergency”.

“Can’t really blame him. I still remember how many times you were  _ actually on fire _ at MIT”, Rhodes replied with a chuckle, “What are you doing down here? Party is upstairs”.

Tony didn’t answer; he just huffed and looked sheepishly at his friends.

“Let me guess… I was right?”

“You usually are, Pepper dear”, he sighed, “I just got tired. I guess my age is finally catching up with me”.

“Right… How old are you again? 150?” Rhodey asked, sitting down beside his friend.

“Funny! No really, honey bear, I’m laughing on the inside!”

“Enough of that from you two… Tony, do you want me to send everyone away?” Pepper asked, always so helpful.

“No. No, let them have their party”, the engineer replied, laying his head on Rhodey’s shoulder, “I just need some quiet for a while”.

Pepper and the colonel shared a quick look before the red head cleared her throat, pulling a stool and sitting right in front of Tony.

“You know that we know there’s something wrong with you, right?”

Tony didn’t reply.

“Yeah”, Rhodey added, “so we’ll be here when you finally get your big head out of your hairy ass and decides to talk to us”.

He snorted at that, but nodded. “Thanks”.

Nothing else needed to be said. They sat there, surrounded by Tony’s robots - his children, really - in complete silence until the engineer was ready to go back to his party.

* * *

People often asked themselves what would be worse… Dying out of nowhere, completely unprepared for it, or knowing that you were about to die and there was nothing you could do to stop it. For Tony, knowing was definitely worse. He felt helpless, lost and angry at himself for not being able to find a new element to save his own life. It was like being on a roller coaster of feelings. Sometimes, he felt like death would be like coming home after a long long day of work, where Steve would be waiting for him with open arms. Other times, much like right now, it felt like a punishment, for what he didn’t quite know. Not being smart enough? Letting Steve die? Yinsen? Bucky? For letting Peggy and the others down? For his part on the Manhattan Project? He had so many sins that it was hard to choose just one.

Peggy… God, he had to call her. The toxicity in his blood was nearing dangerous levels. He had weeks, maybe a month, if he was lucky and didn’t use his suit. He had to patch things up with her before dying; he just had to. It was a beautiful afternoon outside; he could see it from the big windows that gave view to the vast ocean outside. It was almost mocking, really. He took his StarkPhone from the table and stared at Peggy’s picture for a long moment before finally summoning up the courage to press ‘call’.

It rang three times before Peggy’s sweet but determined voice came through.

“Took you long enough, Stark”, she greeted him, making him snort a laugh.

“Nice talking to you too, Pegs”.

"I saw your little incident in Monaco. The man looked awfully familiar".

Tony sighed. "Remember Anton Vanko?".

"The man who tried to sell our designs in the black market? Yes, I remember that Russian buffoon quite well".

"Well, that was his son, Ivan. Apparently, the Vankos hold a grudge".

"Oh, dear", Peggy replied, sounding somewhat worried.

"Never mind him. He's dead now; big explosion, they're saying it was a gas leak or something".

“Hum. Well, I'll most certainly not mourn him. So... something big must be going on if you’re calling me after all these years. Either the Vanko incident made you realize how mortal you truly are or you are dying and doesn't want to leave any unfinished business... So, which one is it?, she asked in good humor.

Tony felt a knot form in his throat. He didn’t answer.

“Tony? Are… Are you…?”

With a deep sigh, he smiled at bit and said, “Yeah. Soon”.

“Oh, dear. Tony, my darling, I’m so very sorry. I didn’t mean…”, she tried, but he cut her before she could finish.

“Don’t worry about it. You couldn’t have known…”, he took a moment to breathe deeply before continuing, “I just want to say… I’m sorry; for the things I said to you that day, for the way I behaved. It was never about you, Peggs, I hope you know”.

“Darling, what do you take me for? Of course I know. Which is why I stopped Angie from murdering you all those years ago”.

They both chuckled at that.

“Well, thank you for that”.

“How… I’m not sure how to ask this”.

“Palladium poison”, he replied, knowing exactly what she wanted to ask, “I tried to find a different element to power the arc reactor, but there isn’t one. Either I die from the blood poisoning or I take the reactor out and die from the shrapnel. There are other choices, really, but I just don’t fancy suicide all that much”.

“Don’t joke about that”, she chastised him, “Is there really nothing you can do? Maybe SHIELD…”

He snorted. “What could those baby scientists do for me that I can’t do for myself?”

“Always such a humble man”.

“Don’t get me wrong, Peggs, I know they’re very capable people, otherwise they wouldn’t be there, but they couldn’t even reverse engineer my suit”.

Peggy sighed. “I wish I could help, I really do…”

“Hold on”, Tony interrupted her, putting the phone down. He stayed silent for a moment, trying to identify the noise he had just heard. It seemed like something heavy had fallen on the ground.

“JARVIS, what’s that noise?”

There was no answer.

Tony quickly got up from his couch, barking a not very polite  _ I’ll talk to you later _ to Peggy before turning off his phone. Something was very wrong. JARVIS always answered him, every single time. The only reason he’d have to not reply was if he was unable to… as in ‘he was shut down completely’. For a second, he was confused as to why something like this would happen, and then it hit him… Natasha! Was she at the house? Maybe those engineers at SHIELD had finally found a way to mess with his AI. He took the first thing he saw - a pillow, of all things - and ran upstairs, looking for the agent.

He found her sitting on the floor of his bedroom, his box of treasures opened in front of her and all of his possessions scattered around. He could feel his neck and face growing hot from the anger he felt.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?”, he demanded.

Natasha didn’t seem bothered at all by his outburst. She merely looked at him with a very calm expression in her face and lifted an eyebrow when her eyes finally landed on the pillow he was still holding.

“Are you going to smother me with that?”

Tony glared at her, throwing the pillow away and taking a step closer to Natasha as he talked.

“You think this is a joke? You messed with my AI, invaded my home and…”, he stopped all of a sudden when he realized what she was holding: his diary; his whole life was there… his insecurities and fears; his memories of a drunk father and an oblivious mother who only caused him heartache until the day they died; his struggles to become an engineer, to convince people that he was worth their time and money; his fallouts and victories during his early years and the war; his relationship with Steve and his pain when he was taken from him. Everything was there and, from the looks of it, the damn spy had been reading it… like it was nothing, like it was just some magazine.

He was angry; furious. Never before in his entire life had he wanted to hurt someone so badly… not even Obadiah and his treachery had managed to make him feel this way. He took a step closer, not even knowing what he was about to do, when suddenly… it happened.

The pain irradiated from his chest and he fell to the ground, unable to keep standing any longer. Natasha’s eyes widened and she threw the diary to the side, rushing towards him. He tried to breathe through the pain.

“What’s happening? What do I do?”

Tony tried to tell her, but he couldn’t speak. All he could do was breathe.

“Shit”, she exclaimed, taking a small device from her pocket and turning it off. Immediately, JARVIS’ voice filled the room.

_ Workshop NOW, miss Rushman. _

Natasha threw one last look at Tony and ran out of the bedroom, most likely following the AI’s instructions.

Tony sat there, head thrown back and eyes closed, trying to deal with the burning sensation that seemed to slowly make his way towards his heart. A few seconds passed before he heard hurried footsteps. Natasha quickly entered the room, holding in her hands a brand new chip. He lifted his shirt with some difficulty and took the arc reactor from its place, taking the chip from the agent’s hand just as she kneeled down in front of him. With practiced ease, he threw the old chip on the floor and put in the new one, inserting the reactor back into his chest immediately after. Slowly, but surely, the pain started to subside, leaving Tony drenched and tired, like he had just ran a marathon.

Natasha observed him in silence, her face showing no emotion whatsoever. Minutes passed before he spoke again, too exhausted to let his anger show.

“You had no right”.

“You knew what I was when you hired me as your assistant”, she replied, still staring at him.

“How did you disable JARVIS?”

She took the small device from her pocket once more and showed it to him.

“Courtesy of SHIELD’s engineering team. It wasn’t easy, but they did it”.

Tony laughed humorlessly, “Trust me, it won’t happen ever again”.

“I believe you”, she said with a touch of sincerity in her voice. She turned her head and looked at the mess on the floor, her eyes falling on the opened diary she had thrown away in her hurry, “How?”

“You really think I’m going to tell you? After you invaded my privacy?”

“After I saved your life”.

He snorted, “You saved nothing”.

“So you really are dying. I thought that might be the case, but it was difficult to be sure. You’re a wild card even in your best days”.

“I take that as compliment”.

“It was one”.

They stared at each other for a long moment, both waiting for the other to cave in. Natasha, apparently, decided the power struggle just wasn’t worth her time.

“I met someone once. He lived many years, but always looked the same”.

“You know what they are going to do to me when they found out?” he asked, ignoring what she had said.

It was clear Natasha knew exactly who ‘they’ were. She looked away, her eyes unfocused; she seemed deep in thought, as if she was weighing her options. Moments later, she looked at Tony once more, having apparently made a decision.

“I won’t tell SHIELD”.

Tony looked at her, disbelieving. “You work for them. Do you honestly expect me to believe that you won’t run to the old pirate to tell him all you know?”

“I loved him; the man I told you about. I couldn’t save him”.

“Knowing how I ended up like this is not going to help you save him”.

“Knowing will bring me knowledge. Perhaps knowledge will bring me peace”, she explained, once again averting her eyes.

_ Sir _ , JARVIS interrupted,  _ shall I start the security protocol? _

He stared at the agent for what seemed like a long time, evaluating his options. Telling her wouldn’t change much. SHIELD would never be able to replicate his experiment, even if they cut him open and took every single one of his organs; even if they managed to get a sample of his blood. She seemed sincere, that was true enough, but she was also a spy. She was trained to look sincere… to make you believe in whatever she wanted you to believe, to prey on your weaknesses and get you to talk about even your deepest, darkest secrets like it was nothing. Then again, he was going to be dead soon. What the hell did he care?

“It was an experiment gone wrong. Or right, depends on the way you look at it. I was building something… a machine that was supposed to… doesn’t matter. The machine didn’t work; I got mad, tried to break it, threw a… particular substance on it, it blew up. I woke up half a day later and I was like this”.

“Was the substance… the super soldier serum?”

Tony threw her a suspicious look, but nodded in the end, confirming her inquiry.

“Something like that”.

“It makes sense”, she whispered to herself, once more lost in her own thoughts before coming back to Earth, “SHIELD has your things”.

He frowned, confused. “What things?”

“They’re from Howard Stark, actually”, she replied with a smirk, “How did you pull that off, by the way?”

“Makeup and a different personality, now go back a little… What do you mean SHIELD has my things?”

“Books, notes, documents, a mockup of the first Stark Expo… It’s all in storage. I thought perhaps you’d like it back”.

“What, you’re going to hide it all in your purse?”

“No. I’m going to put in a formal request to Director Fury to give them to you”.

“Wait”, Tony raised his hand and a ‘stop’ gesture as a very old memory filled his mind, “The mockup… Holy shit, the mockup. I forgot about that!”

He straightened himself up, his face softening as realization hit him.

“The Stark Expo mockup… I need it. Now. Can you get it?”

She nodded, not fully understanding what he was on about.

“I’ll get it by tomorrow”.

“Tomorrow might be too late, no, I need it today”.

She nodded yet again. “I’ll call Fury right now”.

She got up from the floor and took a cellphone from her back pocket, dialing a number.

“Natasha”, Tony called, getting her attention, “Thank you”.

“I like you”, she replied, putting the phone on her ear, “I don’t like many people. Director”, she said into the phone, turning her whole attention to it, “I have a request to make”.

Natasha came back hours later accompanied of Fury himself and another agent with no expression, each of them carrying a box. Tony had no idea if the redhead had told her boss anything about their conversation, but he decided that, in that particular moment, he didn’t much care. He’d deal with that later - if there was a later at all.

“Stark”, the Director greeted him when Tony marched towards him, taking the box from his hands.

“Nicky”, the engineer replied, “That would be all, thank you very much. You can all get the fuck out of my house now”.

Fury snorted and paid Tony no mind, sitting on his couch as if he owned the place.

“So… You’re dying”.

“Aren’t we all? From the moment we are born, really, we are walking towards death, one step at a time…”

“Is he always like this?”, weird agent asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

Natasha smirked, “He’s usually much worse”.

“Are you people expecting tea or something?”

Fury gave him a long look before replying, “You pulled me from something very important, Stark”.

“Are you saying I’m not important? You wound me”.

“You know… This whole thing could have been avoided if you had accepted my invitation”.

Tony snorted. “I don’t want to be a part of your super secret boy band, but thanks for the invite. Now.. if you don’t mind, I have things to do”.

Fury raised his hands, in a gesture of defeat, and got up, fixing his jacket.

“Agent Coulson will stay with you, to keep an eye on you and… help you out in case you need something”.

Tony thought about protesting, but it was just quicker and easier to just let it happen, really.

“Great. He can make me coffee and chocolate chip cookies while I work”.

“I’ll be taking agent Romanoff with me. We have a situation that might require her”.

“Be my guest. Are we done here?”

Fury smirked and walked towards the door, closely followed by Romanoff.

“Stark”, he called before shutting the door, “I got my eye on you. Don’t fuck up”.

“So… Where do we start?” 

Tony took one look at the agent and turned his back to him, walking to his workshop.

“Get me a frappuccino and a cookie. Chop chop, Agent”.

* * *

Natasha wasn’t entirely sure why Fury had pulled her from the job. It seemed like a waste, especially after she had reported that Stark was starting to trust her. She liked the engineer, enough to even hide the sensitive information about his past until further notice. She would have to tell the Director at some point, of course, but it could wait.

Fury looked tense. It wasn’t obvious, but Natasha had been working with him long enough to notice the tells. It was her job after all. She didn’t inquire about it, though. It was always best to let the Director himself talk when he felt like it. He was a big fan of compartmentalization.  _ If no one has the whole information, then they can’t betray us _ , he had told her once, when she was still new at SHIELD. It was a good way to keep your secrets a secret and Natasha was more than fine working like that. Not knowing the whole story beat working for the KGB any day of the week.

“Did you get anything more on Stark?”

Natasha didn’t look at Fury and didn’t change her expression, even though her mind was racing. It was one thing to omit information, another to lie to her boss’ face. She carefully selected her next words.

“There is something, but I’d like to confirm it before reporting it, sir”.

Fury turned to look at her, assessing her before replying, “Fine”.

The Director took his phone out and read something on it, “Looks like Stark found something”.

“Good”, Natasha replied.

He put his phone back inside his coat, “Vanko escaped while we were transferring him to the fridge. He had help; professional, very expensive help. Coulson will keep an eye on Stark. Meanwhile, I want you to shadow Potts”.

“Potts?”

“It has just come to my attention that Hammer managed to build a suit similar to Stark’s Iron Man. He’s going to be showing them tonight, at the Expo, with full backing from the military”, he explained, leaning against the door of the car, “you know what I think, agent Romanoff?”

She didn’t reply; didn’t have to. 

“I think Justin Hammer is a sack of horse shit who couldn’t build a popcorn machine that worked. I also think it is one hell of a fucking coincidence that Hammer managed to replicate the arc reactor on the same month Vanko showed up with a fully functional arc reactor that no other engineer has been able to replicate. What do you think, agent Romanoff?”

“I think you’re right, sir”.

“Damn right I am”, he replied with a snort, “Something is going to happen at that Expo tonight and I want you to stop it”.

“Yes, sir”. 

“Good”, he said as the car finally stopped, “Now, did I tell you about the fucking mess in New Mexico?”

* * *

It was beautiful. The small triangle shone bright inside the new arc reactor casing, fitting perfectly as if it was right where it belonged.

_ Congratulations, sir, _ JARVIS said, sounding almost proud,  _ you have created a new element. _

“Does it work?”

_ The reactor has accepted the modified core. I will begin running diagnostics right away. _

“I’m going to live”, he whispered to himself, letting a long breath out. He laughed, turning on his chair like a child, “Fuck, I’m going to live”.

He never knew just how much he wanted to live until that moment. Steve could wait a little longer.

_ Sir, you have a call from a blocked number. _

“Must be Agent wanting to know if I fucked up yet. Pull him through”, he said, too happy to really care about anything, “Coulson, how’s the land of enchantment?”

_ “Hey Tony, how you doing? I double cycle”. _

That voice. Goddamnit, he recognized that voice.

“You what?”

_ “You told me double cycle’s more power. Good advice”. _

_ Me and my big fucking mouth _ , he thought to himself, “You sound pretty sprightly for a dead guy”.

_ “You too” _ .

Tony quickly muted his speaker for a second, “JARVIS, trace him”.

_ “Now the true history of Stark name will be written”. _

“JARVIS, where is he?”

_ “What your father did to my family over 40 years, I will to you in 40 minutes”. _

“Sounds good. Let’s get together and hash it out”.

_ Tri-state area. Manhattan and outlying boroughs. _

_ “I hope you’re ready”. _

_ Call trace incomplete, sir. _

Tony got up and walked towards the new arc reactor, taking it and slamming it in his chest.

_ Sir, I strongly recommend you wait until the diagnosis is finished. _

“Keep running your diagnosis; and get me a suit ready! We’re going to NY”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, guys! I finally got the new Animal Crossing and I just couldn't put it down, plus quarantine had me spiraling these few days. Hope everyone is doing well and being safe!  
> I skipped some events here and just mentioned them. I thought it would work better with the plot, after all, you have all watched the movies, you know how things happen lol I hope you enjoy the chapter. I'll try to update more frequently!  
> Leave kudos and comments!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha tries to deal with her emotions regarding Stark and the man she once knew in the Red Room.

**IRON MAN SAVES EXPO FROM RUSSIAN TERRORIST**

by _The Daily Bugle_.

Iron Man, aka billionaire playboy Tony Stark, saved hundreds of lives last night from a terrorist attack perpetrated by Russian terrorist Ivan Vanko. According to sources, military contractor and CEO of Hammer Industries, Justin Hammer, was also involved and is now in the custody of the FBI.

_Click here to read the whole article._

* * *

"... attacked last night by Russian terrorist, Ivan Vanko, who was previously believed to be dead. Sources say that Justin Hammer, CEO of Hammer Industries, not only aided Vanko in his escape, but also harbored the criminal in one of his facilities, where Vanko built the robots Hammer later introduced at the Stark Expo as his own creations".

"Fortunately, no one was killed during the attack, but the FBI confirms Hammer will be investigated and, if found guilty, prosecuted for treason. Meanwhile, Tony Stark and new CEO of Stark Industries, Virginia Potts, are trying to salvage what's left of the expo. Mr. Stark's spokesperson reached out to Channel 9 this afternoon, confirming that the Maria Stark Foundation will be covering all medical bills from those who were present at the expo at the time of the attack".

"Now, for the weather..."

* * *

Natasha turned off the computer screen, paying no mind to the indigant shout coming from Clint's direction.

"I was watching that!", he complained.

"You have a perfectly good room a few doors down. Go there and keep watching".

"I don't wanna...", he moaned in a very loud, dramatic tone from Natasha's bed, "So... How was the mission? Fun?"

"Fine", she replied curtly, clearly not wanting to talk about it.

"You sure? 'Cause I know you enough to see that there's something wrong", Clint insisted, pushing himself into a sitting position, "Coulson said you were acting a bit weird too after Stark fired you".

"He didn't fire me. The mission was over, there was no reason for me to stay there any longer, so I left".

"That's not what _I_ heard, but okay...", he whispered, shrugging.

Natasha got up from her chair, taking the SHIELD badge from the desk in a swift move.

"I'm going to the cafeteria. Don't eat my Harry Potter beans", she warned, using said card to open the door.

"They're called Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans and you know it, you nerd", Clint shouted just as the door closed, making Natasha smile.

She walked along the corridor, ignoring the tired agents that seemed to be dragging themselves to their rooms, with her hands inside her pockets and her mind far away. Clint had a point and she knew it. She had been acting, not weird per say, but unlike herself these last few days. The truth was... Stark's story had messed with her head. After finding that box and discovering the diaries inside, Natasha thought that perhaps knowing how Stark had survived all those years, still looking young enough to pass as a thirty something man, would help her understand how Yasha had survived. No such luck. She had been naive to think that she could find closure like this.

She ran for the elevator before it could close, making herself almost invisible on the back. Thinking about her past would bring nothing but bad memories and anger, so it was best to leave it locked in a little box inside her mind.

"I'm just saying, I'm a level 7, I shouldn't be babysitting", the agent complained to his friend.

"I know, Marcus, you said that...", the other replied, rolling his eyes, "You just need to watch them, man. It's not like you're gonna change their diapers or something".

The agent snorted. "This is fucked up, man. It's a pain in the ass, too! Dude keeps shouting for a lawyer... even talked about calling Tony Stark".

Natasha did not move, didn't even blink, but the mere mention of Stark's name was enough to make her pay attention to the conversation happening in front of her.

"Why the hell would he call Stark?"

"Hell if I know. He kept shouting that Stark needs to know, that it's gonna be too late. Maybe he's crazy".

The agent nodded, "Dude just came back from sea, right? Too much time out there can really mess with your head".

"Agents", Natasha called out, making both agents slightly jump. They seemed to finally realized she was there, "Jones and Hernandes, is it?", she read the names from the cards stuck in their chests.

"Uh, yes".

"If you're both level 7 then you've been here long enough to know that you shouldn't be discussing these things in an elevator, where anyone can hear you".

The agents had the decency to look embarrassed.

"We're very sorry, Agent Romanoff. It won't happen again", one of them replied while the other nodded his agreement.

"No, it won't. You are being released of your post and I'll be reporting both of you to Hill".

The agents blinked in confusion, looking at each other with wide eyes.

"Agent Romanoff, I'm under orders... I mean, I can't just..."

"Discuss mission details in public places? Loudly complain about your duties? Besides...", she took the card from her pocket and showed it to them, "I'm a level 8, agent Jones. I have the authority. Now... Where are the detainees?"

The agent deflated, murmuring something like 'interrogation room 2' just as the elevator stopped at the fourth floor. With one last look at both agents, she stepped outside.

"You'll be hearing from Hill soon", she added just for good measure as the doors closed.

The corridor of fourth floor was almost empty, save from two agents who were standing guard in front of interrogation room 2. Natasha marched to them, her face completely void of any emotion. She reconigzed them as soon as they turned their heads in her direction; she'd trained them a while ago. It would be easy to scare them into letting her in.

"Agents. I'm here to interrogate our guest", she said, standing in front of them.

"Uh... Where's Jones?"

"Director Fury asked me to take over".

The agents exchanged a long look between themselves, clearly confused and suspicious.

"Is there a problem?"

"No, it's just... We never got that order, Agent Romanoff".

She blinked deliberately slowly and took a step closer, "Are you implying that I'm lying, Agent Gardner?"

"NO! No, no, I would never...", the agent quickly replied, clearly scared.

"Then step aside and let me in".

The agent sighed and did as he was told. Clint was right; being scary had its advantages. Without another word, Natasha stepped inside the room and closed the door.

Inside, there was a man. He had his head on his hands and didn't look up, not even when Natasha sat in front of him. She remained silent, merely watching him with no expression.

"I want my damn phone call".

Natasha blinked at him. She put her arms on the table, leaning closer to him.

"You can't keep me here! I ain't done nothing wrong!"

Still, Natasha said nothing.

"I ain't dumb, you know. I don't know if you're FBI or CIA, but you had no jurisdiction! That ship belongs to Mr. Stark and you stole it!"

A ship. Natasha did her best to make sure her expression did not change, even though her mind was in a turmoil. A ship; she remembered something about a ship, but couldn't recall why exactly it was important.

"Look, kid... Mr. Stark... He needs to know we found him, okay? He's been looking... He needs to know. It's all I'm asking here!", the man pleaded.

It was like something finally clicked inside her head. _Him_. He was talking about Rogers. Stark had been paying a crew to search for the Valkyrie for years, ever since it had disappeared into the ocean, taking the man he loved with it. And now, they had found it... They had found Rogers... and SHIELD had his body... and Stark didn't know.

_"You know what they are going to do to me when they find out?"_

Stark had said that. Now, Natasha couldn't help but imagine what their scientists were doing to Rogers' body. Probably mutilating it so they could try and find something that would help them replicate the serum.

It was strange... these emotions running through her body. It was none of her concern, not really; and besides, she worked for SHIELD. She was an agent; she was the Black Widow. She didn't have feelings... she had the mission. That was it. So she couldn't understand why she felt the need to warn Stark, to help him... He meant nothing to her. And yet, a part of her couldn't help but think about everything Stark had written in that diary, hidden away from everything and everyone. _I miss him. I wish I could have helped him. I failed him._ Wasn't that exactly what she thought whenever the memories of Yasha filled her mind? She'd most likely never have closure, never have peace, where Yasha was concerned... But maybe Stark could.

With that, she got up abruptly and left the room, completely ignoring the surprised look on the agents faces when she passed by them, almost running to get to the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, she took her phone out and dialed; consequences be damned.

It rang once... twice... and then, finally, Stark picked up.

_"Rushmanoff, what a pleasure. You miss me already?"_

"SHIELD has your crew in custody. They found Steve Rogers' body. He's here".

The line went dead as soon as she finished talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Hope you're all safe. My computer is not working and I had to buy a new hard drive for it :( Long story short, it's being repaired so no computer for me. On the bright side, did you guys know you can plug an old keyboard to your Xbox One and write your fanfiction there, directly on the AO3 website? 'Cause that's exactly what I did. So, small chapter for all of you, directly from my Xbox lol I hope you like it and I hope I'll have my computer soon to write the next chapter lol Leave kudos and a comment if you like it, and please don't mind the mistakes... I'll re-read it on the weekend to fix whatever is wrong lol


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is a BAMF and he's not playing around anymore.

Time had stopped. Tony had the strangest feeling that everything had suddenly stopped moving; there were no sounds either, just a deafening silence that seemed to engulf him and suffocate him, broken only but the loud thoughts inside his own mind.  _ I found him _ , the words kept echoing inside his head,  _ I found him _ . He blinked and found himself sitting down in a very comfortable couch, Pepper kneeling in front of him as she called his name, trying to get his eyes to focus on the scene before him once more. He heard her voice.  _ Tony, are you okay? Is it your heart? _ , the whispers barely registered on his ears, sounding so far away.  _ Boss, should I call an ambulance? _

Tony didn’t want an ambulance. No ambulances… Just Steve.

_ Pepper, who the hell is Steve? _

_ Tony, what about Steve? _ , Pepper asked, shaking his legs with urgency.

_ I found him _ , he wanted to tell her,  _ I found him. _

_ Pepper, he’s crying! That’s it, I’m calling an ambulance. _

_ Happy, stop! I think I know what’s happening, just give me a moment. _

Tony felt some pressure on his arm, like someone was holding him tight.  _ Tony, honey, did they find Steve? _

_ Yes,  _ he wanted to say.  _ Yes, they found Steve and…  _ Then, just as suddenly as it had all gone still and quiet, the world once again exploded in light and sound. Steve had been found, but, as Natasha had informed him, SHIELD had his body. Rage filled his being as he thought about all the horrible, inhumane things they could be doing to Steve’s body right at that moment. For years, they tried to find the secrets behind the super soldier serum… and each and every time they had tried, they had failed to replicate it. But now… Now they had a body, most likely well preserved by the ice, and they could do anything they wanted to it. Or so they thought.

Steve had suffered enough. He deserved to rest in peace, and that was exactly what the soldier would get.

He got up in a rush, making Pepper, who was standing now, take a step backwards in surprise.

“Tony, what the hell happened?”, she asked, clearly worried about him.

“They found Steve, but SHIELD has him and the crew. Get Sophie; we’ll need her”, he barked to Pepper. For a second, he thought she might remind him that she was no longer his assistant, but his boss, but she didn’t even blink before getting her phone and calling their lawyer, “JARVIS will send her the address and fill her in”.

“I will. Don’t do anything stupid, Tony”.

“Too late. Happy, let’s go. I can’t drive like this”.

Happy nodded with determination and followed Tony to the elevator. It was time for Tony to show SHIELD what he was capable of when they stole something from him.

* * *

Natasha wasn’t sure if she had done the right thing, warning Stark about what SHIELD had done. Fury had taken her in and trusted her when anyone else would’ve thrown her in a cell, never to see the light of day again. By calling Stark, she had betrayed his trust in so many ways. But still, she couldn’t bring herself to regret it. There was something about the engineer that made her… soft, more human than usual. She couldn’t understand what it was exactly, but she felt these feelings inside of her and couldn’t shake them. She wasn’t sure she had done the right thing, but she would do it again.

The lobby was almost empty, which was surprising. It was usually filled with agents, coming and going, always in a hurry to either get to the mission or got back to their rooms for a well-deserved rest. Security, however, was definitely higher than usual. There were agents all around, on every door, ready to take down anyone or anything that threatened the integrity of the building and its occupants.  _ All for Captain America _ , she thought to herself.

The main doors suddenly opened. Natasha, who was sitting down on the chairs nearby, turned her head to see who it was. She smirked when she saw Stark marching towards the front desk, looking ready for battle. She got up and walked to him. He glanced at her and nodded without a word.

“Get me Fury. Now”.

The agent at the front desk looked at him, unfazed. “I’m very sorry, Mr. Stark. Director Fury cannot see anyone right now. He’s in a meeting”.

Stark took a step forward, getting closer to the agent.

“Let me be clear… Get me Fury right now or I will destroy your organization before that fucking pirate can blink his eye”.

The agent did not move, but Natasha could see she was nervous now by the way she breathed.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark. I cannot do that”.

Stark nodded. He touched the watch he was wearing and said, loud and clear, “JARVIS, do it”.

At first, Natasha thought he was calling for his armor, but she quickly found she was wrong. The lights started blinking, as if they were in some cheap club downtown; the speakers, which were usually only used for emergencies or important messages, were now blasting Black Sabbath’s Paranoid at full volume; the computer at the front desk displayed only a blue screen and a message: 4 minutes and 30 seconds until complete database erasure.

The security agents standing around started walking towards them, going for their tasers. Suddenly, they were all on the ground, taking out their headpieces, agony clear in their faces. 

“You take one more step, you do anything at all, and I’ll leak all of your files on the good old internet before deleting them”, he shouted over the music to the agents, who were starting to get up from the ground. He kept his eyes trained on the agent at the front desk, “Get me Fury. Now”.

“STARK!”

Although the music was loud, they still managed to hear the shout coming from the second floor. Both Natasha and Tony turned their heads to see Director Fury himself coming down the stairs behind the front desk, a scowl on his face.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?”

“You take something of mine, I take something of yours, Jack Sparrow. Simple as that”.

“You can take your fucking crew and ship back”, Fury replied, marching to the engineer.

“I’ll be taking care of that”, a voice from behind them called out. A woman hurried towards them, carrying a small briefcase, “I’m Mr. Stark’s attorney. I’ll be handling the issue about the crew and ship belonging to Mr. Stark and Stark Industries”.

“And we will be handling the other issue, Nicky”, Stark continued, glaring at Fury, “You got two minutes. Better be quick”.

Fury looked at the security agents who were standing there, unsure of what to do, and then back at Stark.

“Call it off and follow me”, he finally replied.

Tony nodded and, as if JARVIS could see him - and he most likely could, through the many cameras around the room -, everything suddenly returned to normal.

“Don’t try to play me, Nick, because if you do…”

“I get it”, he snarled at him, looking like he was ready to murder someone, “He’s downstairs. Let’s go”.

The woman, who Natasha now recognized as Sophie from Legal, continued to talk sternly to the agent at the front desk while Fury and Stark walked towards the elevator on the right. Natasha followed them and, when Fury called the elevator, she exchanged a long look with her boss, silently asking for permission to accompany them. He nodded briefly and they all entered the elevator.

“How did you know he was here?”

“I felt it in my heart”, Stark replied in a mocking tone.

“I called him”, Natasha said, not looking at her boss.

Fury snorted. “Didn’t even bother to hide it either, did you, Agent Romanoff?”

“I wasn’t trying to hide it, sir”.

They exchanged yet another long look before Fury turned his eyes back to the elevator doors.

“You understand this is top secret, Stark?”

Tony snorted. “What, you mean I can’t take pictures to post on my instagram? Bummer”.

Natasha fought a smile. Tony never failed to amuse her.

The engineer seemed to sober up suddenly, a dark shadow falling over his face, “He’s going to be buried with his mother, Nick. He deserves that, and not you, not your stupid council or anyone in this world is going to stop me from giving him that”.

Fury didn’t respond, didn’t even acknowledged Stark’s words.

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened slowly. Fury got out first, closely followed by Stark and Natasha. They walked through a long corridor, passing a few agents on the way, and only stopped when they reached its end. Fury stopped in front of the door and waited.

_ Non-authorized personnel detected _

“Director override. Fury, Nicholas J.”

_ Override accepted. Welcome, Director Fury and guests. _

“Mine is better”, Tony said smugly.

Once again, the director ignored his words and merely walked forward. The room they had entered was different than everything Natasha had seen at SHIELD headquarters. In fact, she was pretty sure she had never stepped foot in this particular part of the building. There was another automatic door in front of them and a big see-through window beside it. It reminded Natasha of a hospital, and rightly so, she discovered as she stepped closer to said window, with Stark by her side.

It was a hospital room. Better yet, it was a state of the art surgery room, filled with doctors and equipment Natasha couldn’t dream of recognizing. Her attention, however, was abruptly pulled back by the sudden intake of breath from the man beside her. There were so many emotions in Tony’s face: fear, relief, surprise, sadness… and anger.

“You couldn’t let him be, could you? He gave his life to save this country, to stop a madman, and this is how you honor his sacrifice”, Tony snarled at Fury, the flame in his eyes getting more intense, “You butcher him for a fucking serum!”

“No one is butchering the Captain, Stark”, Fury replied unfazed by the other man’s anger, “We’re trying to keep him alive”.

Natasha felt her own eyes widen just as Stark took a step back, as if he had been hit.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“He’s alive”, Fury explained, now turning his head to look at Stark, “and my doctors are making sure he stays that way”.

Stark’s mouth opened and closed several times. In another situation, perhaps Natasha would’ve made a joke.  _ The great Tony Stark… speechless! It’s front page news!,  _ she would’ve said with a smirk. But right there and then she could not bring herself to do it. Her own surprise and empathy towards Stark stopped her from doing so.

“How is that possible?”, Natasha asked her boss.

“It’s not. He’s lying”, Tony replied, still looking dazed.

“I don’t know. Must have something to do with the serum”, Fury replied, once again ignoring Stark, “Doc used long fancy words, but the gist of it is his body slowed down is metabolism and put him in suspended animation”.

“High levels of glucose…”, Tony whispered to himself, his eyes glued to the man lying down on the bed, “Erskine talked about it. A super soldier needs a glycogen super storage to process. He could go days without food during the war. Is he… Is he conscious?”

“We don’t know for sure… but he fought the doctors yesterday. He’s a damn strong man, I’ll tell you that”.

“Yesterday? How long has he been here?”

Fury straightened his back, as if preparing himself for an attack.

“A week”.

Tony turned to the director, looking ready to shout, but was distracted by the loud noise coming from the surgery room. Someone had dropped a metal tray, and it looked like it had been Rogers. The doctors were trying to hold him down and failing miserably. The Captain waved his arms around without much aim, which was understandable due to the fact that his eyes seemed to be closed, and ended up throwing two doctors clear across the room.

“He thinks they got him”, Stark said to himself before running towards the automatic door and slamming his hand on the button that opened it.

“STARK”, Fury shouted at him, trying to stop him as the doors closed.

“HE THINKS THEY’RE HYDRA”, Stark shouted back, as he waited for the sterilization process to be finished.

“Let him”, Natasha told Fury, grabbing his arm.

Fury turned to look at her.

“Trust me. Let him”, she repeated.

Fury took a long hard look at his agent. With a sigh, he went back to the window and pressed a button.

“Don’t stop Stark. That’s an order”.

* * *

After what felt like an eternity, the doors finally opened and Tony stepped inside the room. All the doctors stood still, not moving a muscle as the engineer walked towards the bed. Steve was still tossing on the bed, but his movements, Tony now noticed, were slow and weird. Like he didn’t have complete control over his body.

He stepped closer and took a deep breath.  _ It’s you. You’re moving. You’re breathing. You’re here.  _ He watched Steve toss and turn, like he was having an awful dream. For a second, he couldn’t move. He was afraid that he would touch Steve and he would dissolve in his hand, like sand. He was afraid that he would touch Steve and then wake up in his bed, completely and utterly alone. He was afraid like he had never been afraid before in his entire life.

It took him a long moment to find the courage to put his arm forward and grab Steve’s hand. The soldier squeezed it, hard enough to hurt, and mumbled something.

“Steve, it’s me. It’s Tony, can you hear me?”

The squeeze on his hand became somewhat softer, so Tony continued.

“You’re alright. I’m here. You’re safe. You don’t have to fight, okay? I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere”.

Slowly, Steve begun to calm down; his arms and legs went back to a resting pose and his breathing got slower.

With a smile and tears in his eyes, Tony stroked the soldier’s hair and caressed his face.

“Thank you, Mr. Stark. We’ll take it from here”, one of the doctors, who Tony only now noticed had come closer to the bed, said to him.

“That won’t be necessary, you can all leave. I’m getting Steve a new doctor”, he replied without taking his eyes off of the soldier.

The doctor was ready to retort, but stopped when the doors opened once more, revealing both Natasha and Fury himself.

“You can all go”, Fury told them, “Mr. Stark and I need to have a private conversation”.

The doctors slowly left the room, confused. Natasha turned to follow them, but was stopped by the director.

“Not you, Romanoff. You stay”.

The agent nodded and went back to her previous position by his side, hands clasped together behind her back.

Once he was sure all doctors were out, Fury talked once more, “What the hell was that, Stark?”

It seemed like Tony was going to ignore them for a second, but after a long pause, he finally answered with a sigh.

“JARVIS, secure the room”.

_ Room is secure, sir. All cameras and audio devices have been disabled. _

Fury glared at him, but said nothing.

_ I also took the liberty of calling Doctor Cho for you, sir. She’s in Chicago for a conference and she assured me she’ll be here tomorrow morning at the latest. _

“Thank you, J.”, Tony replied. Without letting go of Steve’s hand, he pulled a nearby chair with his foot and sat down.

The shock seemed to be wearing off and now, he felt like his entire body was melting.

“Well… I’m waiting”.

“It’s a long story”, Tony warned.

Fury looked around the room and walked towards another chair, sitting down on it and motioning for Romanoff to do the same.

“I got time”, he replied, crossing his arms and getting comfortable.

“It’s a crazy story. You won’t believe it”, Tony tried again.

Fury smirked, “Bet you ten bucks that I’ve heard worse”.

Resigned, Tony nodded.

“It started a long time ago…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, no computer yet, guys! I bought a SSD on Amazon to fix my computer, but they sent me one that didn't work so I had to return it and it's been six days and they still haven't given me my money back, so great!
> 
> I'm guessing I won't get my computer back and working any time soon so I'm using my tablet and a shitty tiny keyboard to write, which means smaller chapters. I hope you guys don't mind. 
> 
> As always, if you like this, leave kudos and a comment! I'm in dire need of good things cause life has been awful these past weeks, and comments always make me happy! ❤️
> 
> Stay safe!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip down memory lane...

**1943**

Howard Anthony Stark left the stage with a smile and the feeling of a job well done. Even though his flying car hadn’t exactly stayed on air for as long as he had planned, it had still been a huge success. The crown had cheered and clapped and looked at him with admiration and awe. God, he could really get addicted to this feeling.

“Mr. Stark?”, someone called from his right, calling his attention, “Mr. Erskine needs to talk to you”.

“Now?”, he frowned, undoing his sleeve buttons and his bow tie.

“Yes, sir”.

He nodded his acknowledgement to the soldier and turned back to the girls with a smile.

“I’m very sorry, my dears, but I must bid you  _ adieu _ . Duty calls and I must answer”, the girls complained, but started to scatter, making plans amongst themselves. Sylvia, however, stepped closer and gave Howard a quick peck on the corner of his mouth with a sly smile.

“Night’s still young. Maybe I’ll see you later, Mr. Stark”, she completed with a wink, walking away towards the rest of the girls.

“Yeah… Maybe later”, he replied in a whisper, smiling as he watched the dame go. He shook his head, turning back to the soldier, “Right, Erskine. Lead the way, kid”.

The walk to the recruitment center was not a particularly long one, but the large groups of people walking around the area made it so much more difficult to move. As he walked, Howard let his eyes wander through the crowd. They all looked so happy, smiling and laughing and having fun.  _ I wish I could forget about this war as easily as them _ , he thought somewhat bitterly to himself.

The soldier stopped at the door, nodding as Howard entered the building, walking amongst the many young men who waited for their turns to sign up. He could see excited looks from naive boys who thought war would bring them glory and scared looks from the ones who knew death was all too likely their destinies should they be chosen to fight.

“Stark, there you are”, the voice called from the door, pulling him away from his depressing thoughts.

“Abe”, he greeted as he was rushed inside by the scientist.

“I found him”, Erskine exclaimed in a excited tone, closing the door behind himself.

“The subject?”

“Yes. Steve Rogers from Brooklyn”, he replied, “he will be perfect for experiment”.

“Great. Have you told Colonel sour face yet?”

Erskine huffed, shaking his head, “Phillips will not like it. He wants strong man for serum. We do not need strong man, we need good man”.

“And Steve Rogers from Brooklyn is a good man?”, Howard asked, a bit skeptical, “How long have you known him exactly?”

“Met him today. He is good. I sense it”.

“You sense it”, he repeated it back to Erskine in a mocking tone, “Ok. How about we observe this Rogers in a controlled environment and then we make a decision?”

Erskine’s face was answer enough.

“I’m not saying you’re wrong”, Howard continued, throwing his hands in the air in a placating gesture, “I’m just saying the government has a whole lot of dollars riding on this, not to mention the fate of thousands of lives, so it would feel… let’s say, more official if we could say this kid is a good choice because we watched him and chose him, instead of saying you talked to him for ten minutes and decided he was prince charming”.

The german scientist looked away, deep in thought for a long moment, before nodding in a defeated manner.

“Right. You are right. I will watch and then I will choose him”.

Howard clapped his hands together, “Great! Now, if that is all, I happen to have a beautiful dancer waiting to send me to war”, he winked.

Erskine shook his head, an exasperated smile on his lips, “One day, Stark, you will fall in love with the right woman and settle down, you will see”.

“Until that day, my friend”, he replied, getting up and fixing his jacket, “I shall please the wrong ones”.

With a final wink, he left the room, ready for a long night of entertainment.

* * *

“He jumped over a grenade”.

“It was dummy grenade”.

“Did he know that?”

“He did not”, Erskine confirmed, checking the vials filled with his serum.

“So he jumped on what he assumed was a real grenade”.

“Yes”.

“That’s…”, Howard stopped for a moment, as if trying to find the right word, “...very dumb”.

“I say brave”.

“Well, I say dumb”, he insisted, giving a quick signal to the engineer on the other side of the room, “Your chosen one is here”, he completed, nodding towards the now opened door, where Rogers and the deadly Agent Carter stood.

Despite his uncertainty about Rogers being the right choice for the experiment, he had to admit, the kid had qualities. According to Carter’s report, Rogers was determined, resourceful and an amazing strategist - all good traits for a leader. He was also stubborn, however, with a tendency to see everything as black and white, and had a very unhealthy habit of challenging the big boss. He was very nice looking, though, or at least that’s what Howard thought.

“Mr. Stark, how are your levels?”, Erskine asked, pulling him from his thoughts as he often did.

“Levels at one hundred percent. We may dim half the lights in Brooklyn, but we are ready...”, he replied with confidence, before completing, “well, as ready as we’ll ever be”.

The look on Rogers’ face would’ve made him laugh if he wasn’t so busy checking the machines to make sure everything was, indeed, ready. 

Erskine begun his little speech, but Howard paid little attention to it. He found himself watching Rogers instead. There was fear in his eyes, sure, but also a raw determination that seemed to overpower any other feelings. His jaw was clenched tight and his eyes were staring blindly at the ceiling as he waited for the procedure to begin. Erskine began the countdown and Rogers’ face twitched slightly, as if he was trying so very hard to not let his fear show.

Unconsciously, Howard took a step forward and put his hand on Rogers’ shoulder. The soldier looked at him, a bit startled at first, but his eyes quickly softened when Howard nodded once at him.

“Now, Mr. Stark”, Erskine called.

Howard threw one last look at Rogers and stepped back to his previous position, slowly pulling one of the levers. Erskine knocked lightly at the capsule and said something to the soldier, who seemed to have answered something right back, because the scientist turned around and smiled at Howard.

“We will proceed”.

“That’s ten percent”, Howard began, turning the wheel very slowly, “Twenty percent. Thirty. Forty…”

“Vital signs are normal”, someone called from his right.

“That’s fifty percent. Sixty. Seventy…”

Suddenly, Rogers screams filled the room making Howard stop immediately. His eyes were glued to the capsule, watching worried as the german scientist and Agent Carter screamed at the soldier, trying to figure out what was happening. They were ready to shut the whole thing down when Rogers’ voice came out, clear as day.

“NO!”, he shouted from inside the capsule, “Don’t! I can do this!”

Erskine and Howard exchanged a quick look. They nodded at each other and the engineer turned his attention back to the wheel, turning it until it hit one hundred percent. As it reached its peak, the machines around them started to break down and the light inside the capsule slowly disappeared.

The capsule opened to reveal Rogers… And then, a few minutes later, all hell broke loose.

* * *

Six months had passed since the incident and not a second of it had been easy. Erskine was gone, and with him the super soldier formula, leaving Howard to deal with the angry brass and their impossible demands. No matter how many times he said it, they just didn’t understand: the german scientist had never once shared the formula with anyone, terrified that it would fall into the wrong hands, making it virtually impossible for Howard to replicate it. He was pretty sure they would’ve insisted on it a lot more if it hadn’t been for the recent mess in Azzano.

The loss they had suffered in Azzano had been, by far, the worst one yet. Two hundred young men had marched towards it, all determined to put a stop to Schmidt’s forces, but only less than fifty had returned, most of them too injured to even think about fighting another day and probably too scarred to ever forget what had happened. It killed Howard to know that all those soldiers were probably being killed for sport or, even worse, tortured for information. He desperately wished he could do something, but Phillips had been adamant.

_ And what exactly do you expect to do when you get there, Stark? _ , he had asked him earlier that week,  _ are you going to walk to the front gate and politely ask for the soldiers back? _

Deep down, he understood Phillips’ decision. They couldn’t afford to lose more soldiers. Still, it cut deep and, sometimes, the pain was almost too much to bear. So Howard worked. He designed new weapons, he spent nights upon nights awake, hunching over his workstation, trying to come up with new ways to stop Schimidt… to win the war. After all, it was all they could do.

Needless to say, he was more than surprised when he heard the sound of shoes hitting the wet ground just outside his tent, right before Agent Carter herself showed up, her hair and clothes dripping on his floor.

“I need you”, she said simply, a bit out of air.

“Well, I’m not going to say no to that, but maybe I can meet you at your tent later?”, he replied with a mocking smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Agent Carter rolled her eyes at him, “Don’t be crass. You can fly a plane, right?”

Howard raised an eyebrow at her, finally turning away from his work to fully face her, “Yes?”

“How would you feel about disobeying direct orders?”

“I do that on a daily basis, doll, it’s not a problem. You, on the other hand… Well, this is very unlike you, Agent Carter”.

“Rogers is going to try and rescue the 107th. He planned to drive to Austria… I had a better idea”, she explained, her face showing no signs of doubt.

“Hold on, you want me to temporarily steal a plane from the U.S. army and fly it into enemy territory, where we are very likely to be shot down from the sky, to take one single man into the most heavily fortified Hydra camp we have encountered so far to save a bunch of soldiers who are most likely already dead? With no backup or extraction plan?”

Agent Carter looked him dead in the eye and nodded, “Yes”.

Howard shook his head, “No. We can’t steal one of their planes”, he said, looking away as if in thought. Agent Carter was about to open her mouth, most likely to try and convince him of the contrary, when he smiled and turned back to her, “Let’s take my plane instead”.

The engineer walked towards a nearby chair, grabbing his jacket and quickly putting it on.

“Let’s go get your super soldier boy”, he said, walking past her.

The agent quickly followed him, “You have your own plane?”

“What, you don’t?”

* * *

Howard could hear the cheers and the laughs outside, louder than they had ever been before. He smiled to himself, taking a long sip from his scotch. He wouldn’t have believed it had he not seen it with his very own eyes. Rogers had done it. One hundred and twelve men, all back to find another day. Some injured, sure, and some calling for their mothers, but back nonetheless. He huffed and raised his glass, in a silent toast to Erskine, before taking another sip.

“Not joining the others, Mr. Stark?”

Howard raised his head, brown eyes meeting blue ones full of life and pride. He smiled.

“Howard. Should I call you Captain America or is Rogers just fine?”, he teased.

Rogers laughed, “You heard that”.

“Hard not to”.

“I think Steve is fine”, he replied, taking a step forward and thrusting his hand towards the man, “I came to thank you again for your help”.

Howard stared at the hand being offered to him for a long second before shaking it.

“My pleasure, Steve”, he gestured to the chair in front of him, “Care to join me?”

Steve nodded promptly, sitting at the designated spot and accepting the glass of scotch Howard offered him.

“To the small victories”, the engineer called, raising his glass.

“To the small victories”, the soldier replied, doing the same.

“Erskine would’ve been proud… you should know that”, Howard said quietly after drinking half the glass.

“I’ll make sure his sacrifice wasn’t in vain”.

“We all will, Captain. We all will”.

* * *

It seemed that the rescue of the 107th had been enough to prove to the brass, and especially Phillips, that Rogers was being wasted as chorus girl. The soldier had been quickly promoted to captain, which made a whole lot of sense since he was now known everywhere as Captain America; not only that, but, thanks to his better than average memory, he had managed to inform them of almost all of Schmidt’s secret camps. Needless to say, that information alone was enough for him to jump ranks.

It was a cold, rainy Tuesday in London when Howard and Steve met for the third time. The Captain had just put together his own team, the Howling Commandos as Morita loved to remind everyone who would listen, and had gone down to the workshop, in search of weapons and armor for their very first mission.

“Busy?”, he called from the door, watching amused as Howard stopped what he was doing, sliding the goggles to the top of his head.

“For Captain America? Never”, he replied in a playful tone, putting the torch back on the table, “What can I do for you, Cap?”

“We have our first mission”.

“So I’m guessing you need something to smack the nazis on the head with”.

Howard walked towards a nearby table full of armor pieces and guns. He pointed at the shield on the end of it, smiling.

“Heard you’re attached”.

Steve shrugged, “It’s handier than you think”.

“Good to know, because I have something for you”, he said, pulling a round shield from under the table and giving it to Steve.

“It’s light”, the soldier exclaimed, surprised.

“It’s vibranium; that right there is all I have of it. It’s the strongest metal known to man and completely vibration absorvent”.

“It will do”, Steve replied with a smile, putting the shield back on the table, “I… had some ideas about the uniform?”

“Whatever you want, pal”.

The soldier flushed slightly at that.

After that encounter, their meetings became more and more common. Rogers would be gone for weeks, sometimes months, but every time he came back, he would go straight to Howard’s lab. He sat down on one of the stools and told the engineer everything about the mission, from the weather at the time to the obstacles they had faced together. Sometimes, he shared stories about the Howling Commandos; other times, he told tales about growing up in Brooklyn. In exchange, Howard shared his own stories, about his family and his craving for becoming a successful businessman.

“I hated my father”, he told Steve one day, “Carrying his name is almost torture, to be completely honest”.

“Your middle name is Antonio, right?”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”, Howard asked, confused.

“Well, why not go by your middle name?”

“I don’t think this is a very good time to go by an italian name”, he half joked, unsure.

“Tony, then”, Steve simply replied with a smile.

And that was how Howard became Tony.

Their meetings continued to happen throughout the months and, with each one, they became closer to one another. It wasn’t long before Tony - and only Steve himself called him that, which, for some reason, made it feel all the more special - started to notice a change in his feelings, which was bad; very bad. The feelings themselves weren’t the problem, Tony knew that. He had long ago come to terms with who he was and he was not ashamed of it, but society had a very different opinion on the matter. He knew he could never let those feelings show, so he hid them as best as he could, telling himself that they would disappear with time, much like they had so many times before, and limited himself to watching Steve from afar, fantasizing about a better, less prejudiced world.

For a long time, it worked. He swallowed his feelings whenever Cap was around, even smiling when the Commandos commented on the way the women seemed to throw themselves at the captain. However, as the captain and the engineer spent more and more time together, Tony begun to notice a few things that intrigued him: how Steve always smiled at him, a different smile that he seemed to reserve to the engineer alone; the way he touched his arm or back whenever Tony got close enough; but, most of all, it was the way Steve stared at him when he took his shirt off that finally made him realize that, perhaps, he wasn’t the only one catching feelings.

Finally, his suspicions were confirmed after a particularly bad mission. Barnes had descended to the workshop, a dark and tired look on his face, to inform Tony that everything had gone wrong.  _ Stevie needs a friend _ , he had said,  _ and I’m not the friend he needs right now. _ The tone in Barnes’ voice seemed to imply something more, something Tony was too afraid to face just yet, so he merely nodded and went to the barracks to find Steve.

He found the captain sitting on his bed, head on his hands, looking more desolated than Tony had ever seen.

“Hey”, he called softly, closing the door behind himself.

Steve didn’t move, didn’t even acknowledge him.

“Barnes told me what happened. I’m really sorry”.

“They were children”, Steve replied in a hoarse tone, raising his head to show a face marked with dried tears, “Children, woman… Even the men, they weren’t soldiers, Tony, they were just…”

“I know”, he walked towards the captain, sitting beside him and taking his hands into his own, holding them, “We can’t save everyone, Cap, but we’re making a difference.  **You** are making a difference, I promise you that”.

Steve shook his head, disbelieving, but didn’t take his hands away.

“It’s true. Steve, we liberated fourteen towns. Fourteen! Do you know how many people are alive because of you and the Commandos? I know this is going to sound cruel, but this is a war. People die everyday; sometimes we lose a battle, but everyday now we are closer to winning this war. So mourn the dead, but don’t give up, because there are plenty of people yet for us to save”.

The captain stared at their intertwined hands for a long moment, sniffling, before looking up and meeting Tony’s eyes with a frown. For a second, he thought Steve might ask him to leave, but something seemed to quickly change in his expression. His eyes softened all of a sudden, traveling from Tony’s own to his mouth. With a determined look, Steve moved forward, capturing Tony’s lips in a clumsy kiss.

The kiss ended almost as soon as it started; the captain pulled back, a surprised look but pleased look on his face.

“Should I apologize and beg you not to tell anyone?”, he whispered, unsure.

Tony blinked. “Was this a one time ‘I’m really sad and need comfort from whatever source available’ kind of thing?”

Steve looked away for a moment before turning his eyes to Tony once more with a somewhat sad smile.

“It was a ‘I know I shouldn’t, but I think I love you’ kind of thing”.

The engineer took a deep breath and nodded. He got up and walked to the door, locking it before he turned back around and returned to the bed in haste, pretty much jumping on top of Steve and connecting their lips once more.

“I’ve wanted this for so long”, Tony whispered into his lips, hands desperately grabbing the captain’s hair, “Fuck everyone else”.

“I’d rather just fuck you actually”.

The words took Tony by surprise and he barked a laugh, hiding his face into Steve’s neck.

“How do you do that? Go from unsure virginal little Captain America to confident sex god Steve Rogers?”

Steve smiled shyly and shrugged, “It’s a gift”.

“Well, Cap…”, Tony said seductively, running his teeth down his neck and undoing the buttons of Steve’s shirt, “Let me show you  **my** gift”.

And show him he did.

* * *

**1945**

Several months had passed much too quickly since Steve and Tony had confessed (and consummated) their feelings for one another. It wasn’t easy, being together; after all, no one could ever know. Well, except for Agent Carter, who caught them in the act at Tony’s workshop one night when the stupid lock hadn’t quite worked and gave them the longest lecture about discretion the engineer had ever heard in his entire life; and, of course, Barnes’, who apparently had known about his best friend’s ‘inclination’ their whole lives, but still kept fixing Steve up with dames because he thought the look on his friend’s face every time he had to entertain a lady was absolutely hilarious.

_ “What kind of friend does that?”, Steve had told Tony one day after coming out to his best friend, his voice filled with indignation. _

_ “The best kind”, Tony had replied with a smile before occupying both their mouths with much more pleasurable activities. _

Mission after mission, Steve would come back to Tony. Sometimes, they’d celebrate the liberation of yet another area; other times, they’d lay in each other’s arms, looking for comfort after a lost battle. It wasn’t easy, waiting for his love to return, not knowing if he was safe or if he was lying in a ditch somewhere, never to return to Tony’s arms again, so the engineer kept as busy as he could, trying to not think about every single horrible thing that could be happening to his partner.

In a way, Tony knew they had been lucky so far. After more than fifty missions, that luck was bound to run out and, one day, it finally did. The city of London had suffered yet another bombing earlier that day, leaving all SSR personnel to deal with the consequences. There were agents running around town, helping civilians who were now homeless or in need of medical care; some were desperately trying to break the enemy’s intercepted coded messages, desperate to find out when the next attacks would occur; others, like Tony, were sitting around a table, fervently discussing what to do next. The Nazi forces had been sistematically pushed back to Berlin by the Allies and there was talk of a mutiny amongst Hitler’s men. According to general Clearwater, however, the mutiny had ended with the death of more than four thousand men at the hands of the Gestapo.

“There is talk that the old fuhrer is going mad”, the general commented.

“Please, did you not see the reports on Auschwitz? That man has been mad for a very long time”, said the lieutenant general, his face turning slightly green, “I have seen my fair share of atrocities, but what they did in that place… It was a whole new level of evil”.

The others nodded in agreement. Tony, however, was only half hearing the conversation because, right in that moment, he swore he had just seen two soldiers walking towards the interrogation rooms with Dr. Zola. He excused himself quickly, running out the room and through the corridor. He stopped and watched as they sat Zola in the well lit room, posting themselves at the door.

“We caught him”, Phillips’ voice came from behind him. He was carrying a tray with what seemed to be a nice looking steak, some potatoes and broccoli.

“Did we become a bed and breakfast and I didn’t realize it?”, he replied in a mocking tone, “I thought you’d be happier about this”.

Phillips sighed, looking more tired than he had ever looked before, “I am happy with the results. Unfortunately, we had a loss on our side”.

Tony’s heart started beating faster, his mouth becoming dry all of a sudden.

“Who?”, he managed to get out in a hoarse tone.

“Barnes”.

Relief filled his body for just a second before dread overcame him once more. Barnes and Steve were like brothers. They had been together ever since they were two dumb little kids looking for trouble in Brooklyn. Steve was most definitely devastated.  _ I need to find him _ , he thought to himself, walking away from Phillip without another word.

He decided the best place to look for Steve first would be at the mess; the Commandos often met there after a mission, be it for a celebrational drink or a pity party. He passed soldiers and generals along the corridors, paying them no mind, his brain focused on finding his partner. He finally arrived at the mess, only to find all Commandos drinking in absolute silence and blank looks on their faces. No Steve, however.

“He left”, Dum Dum said in a quiet tone, taking a long sip of his glass, “Didn’t say where he was going”.

“I think I know where he might be. What happened?”

Morita sighed, “Barnes fell off the train. Cap tried to catch him, but…”

“Shit”, Tony groaned, shaking his head, “Fucking hell…”

“Fucking hell is right. I don’t think I’d ever seen Cap that bad”, Dum Dum said.

“I’ll go find him. Thanks”.

The Old Bell wasn’t too far from the base, but Tony ended up taking more time than usual to get there due to the debris covering the streets. He passed over ambulances and soldiers, crying children looking for their parents and adults looking sadly at what had once been their houses. It was chaotic and horrible and it only worsened the tightness Tony already felt in his heart.

As expected, he found Steve at the bar, a bottle of whiskey on the table in front of him. His eyes were fixed on the far away wall, or at least what was left of it. Tony stepped closer slowly, minding the debris on the floor.

“How’s that working for you?”, he pulled one of the nearby chairs and sat beside Steve.

“It’s like drinking water”, the captain replied, roughly rubbing his eyes to get rid of the tears.

“It wasn’t your fault”, Tony whispered, grabbing and squeezing his hand as soon as Steve put it back on the table.

“Did they tell you what happened?”

“Yes”.

Steve shook his head, “Then you know that’s not true”.

“You did everything you could, Steve. You can mourn him, you can miss him. Hell, you  **should** mourn and miss him! But you can’t blame yourself. Bucky chose to fight this fight and he knew how dangerous it could be. Besides, we both know he’d punch you if he was here right now just for thinking like that”.

Steve huffed and smiled sadly, “It’s true”.

The small smile was gone just as suddenly as it had appeared and he squeezed Tony’s hand tightly, as if afraid of letting go.

“I’m going after Schmidt. I’m not gonna stop until all of Hydra is dead or captured”.

“You won’t be alone”, Tony vowed. He leaned forward, intending to comfort his partner with a kiss, but then stopped, remembering where they were and why that was a bad idea.

Steve nodded softly and squeezed his hand, as if to say he understood and appreciated the gesture, looking deep into Tony’s eyes and feeling the weight of the world slowly leave his shoulders. A cracking sound called their attention, making both men jump and pull their hands back. Agent Carter then appeared, a bit out of breath.

“We need you; both of you”, she said in an urgent tone.

Exchanging one last look, they quickly got up and followed her back to base.

* * *

“He’s insane! That man belongs in a bughouse!”, Phillips barked, “He thinks he’s a god and he’s willing to blow half the planet to prove it, starting with the USA”.

“Schmidt is working with powers beyond our capabilities”, Tony offered, “If he gets across the Atlantic, he can wipe out the entire Eastern Seaboard in an hour”.

“How much time we got?”, Gabe asked, worried.

“According to my new best friend, less than 24 hours”, Phillips replied.

“Where is he now?”

“Hydra’s last base is here”, Phillips showed them the picture of a mountain covered in snow, “In the Alps, 500 feet below the surface”.

Morita whistled, “Damn. So, what’s the plan here? We can’t just knock on the front door”.

“Why not?”

All eyes turned to the Captain, some surprised, some confused.

“That’s exactly what we’re going to do”.

Fifteen minutes later, they had a plan and Tony was losing his mind. No amount of arguing could dissuade either Phillips nor the Howling Commandos from the ridiculous plan and oh, how Tony had tried. At the end, he had accepted defeat and hastily left the meeting with the excuse of readying the weapons and armor necessary for their little suicide mission.

He was completely alone in his workshop when Steve met him there twenty minutes later, already wearing his battle gear.

“You don’t like the plan”.

“It’s not about liking it. It’s more that I think it’s a fucking stupid plan and you have a death wish”, Tony replied sarcastically, throwing a wrench on the table and closing the last container full of weapons.

“Tony…”, Steve tried to say, but was immediately interrupted.

“No! You think I’m stupid, you think I don’t know what you’re doing, but I do, Rogers. You lost your best friend and now you’re angry, you wanna get even, and that makes you impulsive and reckless. Well,  **more** impulsive and reckless than usual, anyway”.

“Tony, I promise you, that’s not it”.

Tony sighed, shaking his head, “You’re not invincible, you know”, he whispered, defeated.

Strong arms circled his waist, pulling him closer. He turned into the hug, putting his own arms around Steve and lying his head on his chest.

“You’re planning on facing an entire army alone, Steve. An army with technology beyond anything I’ve ever seen”.

“Hey”, the captain called softly, using his hand to carefully raise Tony’s head until their eyes met, “I can’t promise you the plan will work, but I can promise you that I’m not taking this lightly, Tony. More than that, I promise you that there’s nothing more I want in this world than to come home to you, do you understand?”

Tony smiled and nodded, closing his eyes when Steve joined their lips on a soft kiss.

“I’ll always come home to you”, the captain whispered between kisses.

“I’ll be waiting”.

* * *

_ “Come in, this is Captain Rogers, do you read me?” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure I wrote and deleted this chapter at least 50 times, but at last, it is finished. At first I thought about going straight to the moment Steve wakes up, but then inspiration came and I thought this would be better.  
> I really hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it. Don't forget to leave a comment and kudos! (;


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve wakes up.

A hundred years had passed; at least that’s how it felt for Tony. Waiting for Steve to wake up was somewhat like one of those old movies he used to watch. He could easily picture how the scene would unfold; himself sitting by Steve’s bed, never leaving, never moving, while the camera slowly turned around, showing small changes around the room: the glass of water, now empty; the flowers on the nightstand withering away; the window behind him showing the changing seasons as he patiently waited for the love of his life to wake up. Damn, that was a hallmark movie right there, and God, how he wished real life could resemble it just a little bit. He could deal with the cliches, as long as there was a happy ending for them.

True to her word, Helen Cho had arrived the very next morning. After a brief explanation about what, or rather who, they were dealing with, she promptly got to work, making sure Steve had the best possible care. After three whole days of endless tests, she had finally come to the conclusion that there was nothing wrong with the good old Captain.

“The serum took care of all the damage in his body”, she had told Tony, an unmistakable awe in her tone, “It’s incredible, really; certainly puts my cradle to shame”.

“So, he’s fine?”

“Yes. I believe the captain is merely… asleep. His body is most likely getting used to the new environment and it’s essentially preparing him. He’ll wake up when he’s ready”, she had promised with a smile.

Helen had offered to stay a few more weeks, if only to give Tony some peace of mind, but he refused. He was very thankful for her help, but he knew how busy the genius doctor was; they parted ways on a sunny wednesday, with plans to meet again soon, under better circumstances.

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Tony was pretty sure he would’ve gone insane if it hadn’t been for JARVIS and, surprisingly, Natasha Romanoff herself. While the AI was useful as always, making sure the former CEO of Stark Industries was well-informed about every step taken by his company, Natasha had a more hands-on approach. She brought him food, every day, without fail; burgers, fries and milkshake when he was feeling disheartened and whatever healthy food she could find on any other day. It had taken him quite a while to notice how her choice of food was related to his mood and, once he did, he couldn’t help but grow a little fonder of the spy, even if he still didn’t trust her.

American Sleeping Beauty was about to complete two months in deep sleep when Fury showed up at the door. It took Tony a long moment to finally notice him, standing there with his arms crossed and a frown on his face.

“It’s been two months”, he stated, making Tony want to roll his eyes. He refrained, though, and merely replied with a sigh.

“Almost, but not quite yet”.

“Hum”, the director responded, looking at the Captain, “We need to talk”.

“Then talk”.

“Not here. My office. Romanoff will watch him”.

The agent suddenly showed up behind Fury and Tony had the urge to make a Beetlejuice joke, but, again, refrained from doing so. Maybe his self forced exile was finally starting to rot his brain. He took a long look at Steve, squeezing his hand before getting up and following Fury. Natasha nodded at him as they changed places and sat on his now vacant chair, her eyes watching the Captain in a way that reminded Tony oddly of a hawk.

Now that Steve was no longer in the super secret lab in the basement, but in a nice enough room with a window on the third floor, Fury’s office was much closer and therefore they only had to walk for a bit before arriving at their destination. The old pirate sat on his chair and waited for Tony to be seated as well before beginning to talk.

“The World Security Council called”.

Tony snorted, “Is Malick still on it?”

“Yes”.

“Of course he is. Fucking asshole”, he murmured to himself, shaking his head.

“They expressed their concerns over Captain Rogers”.

“What concerns?”

Fury leaned back, putting his hands together in front of him, “The man spent almost seventy years in the ice.”.

“Your point being?”, Tony insisted, starting to get annoyed.

“My point is we don’t know shit about what happened to him. Was he already knocked out when the water started to fill the plane? If he was, in fact, awake, did he feel the freezing water surrounding him, drowning him, until his whole system shut down? Was he conscious during this seventy years, and if so, is he still the same soldier he was before the incident? That’s my goddamn point, Stark”.

Tony wanted to retort, but he found himself unable to open his mouth without risking the loss of everything inside his stomach. He was sick; he could feel the bile slowly going up his throat. He breathed in and out, very slowly, with his eyes closed. Fury merely watched him, patiently waiting for the engineer to be done.

He would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t thought about all these things before. Night after night, day after day, he tortured himself thinking about Steve, stuck in the ice, desperate to move, to talk, to cry for help, and unable to do any of those things. Did he try to mark the days as they passed, waiting for a rescue that never came? Did he lose count at some point and merely stayed there, slowly losing his mind as the time passed him by? Tony didn’t know. Erskine had never mentioned how the serum would work in such a situation; hell, he doubted the german doctor would’ve known anyway.

“Stark?”, Fury called, his tone somewhat softer than before.

“I’m fine”, Tony replied, his voice sounding hoarse before repeating it with a bit more force, “I’m fine”.

“I get that you two had a whole… history together, but the fact remains that we don’t know if the Captain is gonna be himself when he wakes up, and even if he is, knowing that seventy years passed and that the life he knew no longer exists might, let’s say, fuck him up in the head”.

“Ok? So what’s the grand idea?”

Fury sighed, “The Council believes we should ease the Captain into this world… make him comfortable, make him trust us before we welcome him to the 21st century”.

Tony snorted, “In other words, you wanna lie to him?”

“Yes”.

“Fuck you”, the engineer replied, shaking his head, “and fuck your council, I am NOT lying to him. You really think he’s gonna trust you after he finds out you lied about all this?”

”That’s a very good point that was brought up before the council”, Fury retorted, pursing his lips.

“And?”

“They elected to ignore it”, it was very much clear to see that the Director was not happy about that.

Tony sighed, covering his face with his hands before moving them up, running his fingers through his hair and looking more tired than he had in days, “Fuck this. I’m not letting you do this”.

“Rogers was strong, right? We all know that”, the Director said, earning a blank look from Tony, “Some of those Commandos of his used to say he was smart too”.

“He was”, Tony confirmed.

“How smart?”

He shrugged, “He was a good tactician. He could look at a map and visualize an entire plan of attack in minutes. He was attentive to detail…”

“How attentive exactly?”

“Where are you going with this, Nick?”

Fury leaned back on his chair, a pensive look on his face, “Well, we’ll have to create an entire facility that perfectly resembles those one would find in the 1940s, as requested by the Council. Of course, we cannot go against a decision made by the Council, that would be… bad. I’m just wondering just how perfect everything has to be to fool our good old Captain into believing no time has passed at all. Are you getting it, Stark?”

Tony blinked once, twice, before leaning forward, a confused look in his face, “Are you implying what I think you’re implying?”

“Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not”, Fury answered quickly, looking at the engineer with slightly wide eyes, “All I’m saying is that we should do exactly what the Council has asked and see just how… attentive to detail… Rogers really is”.

“I gotcha”, Tony replied with a small smile.

“Good. Get your shit ready, we leave in six hours”.

* * *

The room was flawless, Tony had to admit. He didn’t know who had been responsible for the interior design on it, but they most definitely deserved applause. Everything, from the rug on the floor to the old radio on top of the drawer, was on point. Even though Tony did not miss his old life in the slightest, he still couldn’t help but feel somewhat nostalgic.

“What do you think?” Fury called from the door, all smug.

“I think it looks good”, he replied with a nod, still looking at the screen in front of him, “Is that why you asked me about baseball?”, he asked, pointing at the radio.

“May 25, 1941. Definitely something someone would remember, if they were there at the time”.

Tony grimaced, “Oh God, I’m gonna have to tell him his team is in Los Angeles now. He’s gonna lose his shit”.

“The explanation about the seventy year old nap he just took should worry you, Stark”, Fury retorted, “We have some professionals on the ready, by the way. In case the Captain needs some help”.

The engineer nodded. There was no way in hell he was going to let a SHIELD psychiatrist anywhere near Steve. He didn’t trust them that much.

For the past few weeks, his days had been pretty much all like this. Tony woke up, ate some breakfast, brushed his teeth and sat down in front of a big monitor, closely watching Steve while trying to get some work done. To say he was unhappy about the whole situation was an understatement; he missed sitting beside Steve, running his fingers through his golden hair and holding his hand. Logically, he knew it was better to just go along with Fury’s plan for now, just until Steve was up and about and very much capable of telling the Council to go fuck themselves, but it was still hard to control his more impulsive side, the one that screamed at him to explode the stupid building, get Steve and get out. 

With a long sigh, Tony moved his hand to the side, making the hologram in front of him disappear. He leaned back on his chair, eyes glued to the monitor, and just tried to relax for a bit.

“Nothing yet?”

He had been around Romanoff long enough by now to not jump three feet in the air whenever she magically showed up out of thin air.

“Still asleep. I swore he moved earlier, but I think it was just wishful thinking”.

Her heels clicked on the wooden floor as she approached him, looking at the monitor curiously.

“How are you holding up?”

“Fine”, he replied, turning his chair around to face her, “Are you here to babysit me?”

She shrugged, “I’m bored. They have Agent Van Pelt on standby today”.

“Is that the red haired?”

“Yes”.

“Hm”, he simply replied, still looking at Natasha with an odd look.

“What?”

“I don’t know. I literally don’t know”.

“Don’t know what?”, she asked, amused.

“If I can trust you or not”.

“You shouldn’t”.

“Hm”, he said once more before saying, “Because you almost act like you care, you know. Like we have something in common, some common ground that makes us equals or whatever…”

“Tony”.

“... and sometimes it feels like you’re being sincere and honest, but you’re a spy and you jammed a needle in my neck without my permission, or even a warning, so it’s kinda hard to trust…”

“Tony!”, she said again, this time more forcefully, “He’s getting up”.

She moved her head forward, gesturing towards the monitor. He quickly turned his chair back and looked bewildered at the screen, his heart beating faster than it had in a very long time.

“Oh my God”, he whispered to himself, “He’s getting up. He’s awake!”

They watched as the Captain sat down on his bed, looking around with wide eyes. Suddenly, his head turned towards the radio and he frowned.  _ Maybe he recognizes it _ , Tony thought to himself. Steve had been there, that day, watching the game for the very first time in his life. He remembered how the Captain had told him all about it, a big smile on his face, reminiscing about his adventures with Bucky in a more peaceful time. When Fury had come up with his plan, Tony had asked him to put that specific game on the radio, in hopes that Steve would listen to it and recognize it. Judging by the look on his partner’s face, it was safe to say he had not only recognized it, but was also starting to question his whereabouts.

The door to the room opened, making Steve turn to look at whoever was walking inside. The person in question was Agent Van Pelt, looking very much like an agent from the SSR and, at the same time, nothing at all. She greeted the Captain with a smile, very polite and warm. Steve, it seemed, wasn’t buying it.

“He knows”, Tony said out loud, getting up, “He’s gonna… Yeah, he bolted”.

For a long second, Tony just looked at the very much Steve shaped hole in Fury’s wall, his brain going back to those old cartoons he used to watch. The alarm started blaring in his ears, waking him up from his sudden daydream.

“He’s going down the main corridor. Come on!”, Natasha exclaimed, pulling Tony by the arm.

His brain seemed to finally understand what the heck was going on and Tony started running, Natasha right behind him. They passed some agents who were standing there in the corridor, confused as to what exactly a code 13 was, pushing them out of the way without much care.

“He’s outside, shit, he’s fast!”, Natasha exclaimed from behind him, probably getting her updates from her earpiece.

Tony started to run faster, ignoring his aching body and fast beating heart. He needed to get to Steve before he disappeared into the New York madness. Or worse, before he had a mental breakdown from seeing the outside world before he was properly prepared for it. He slammed his shoulder at the front door, squinting when the sun hit his eyes full force, trying to figure out where Steve had run to. Fury and a number of agents were getting into cars, ready to chase the Captain. Tony had other ideas.

“JARVIS”, he shouted at the watch in his wrist.

_ The armor is already on its way, sir. It should arrive… now. _

True enough, the armor fell to the ground, immediately opening to let Tony inside. He waited anxiously as it closed around him and, as soon as the HUB lit up in front of his face, he flew away.

“JARVIS, tap the cameras, find him”.

_ Already found, sir. Sending coordinates right now. _

“Give me some power, pal”, he asked, turning the armor to the right, just above the many cars stuck in traffic. Soon enough, he saw him.

Steve had stopped running and was standing in the middle of the empty street, looking around, completely lost. It broke Tony’s heart to see him like that. He flew until he was closer to the Captain, but not too close as to scare him. Steve had noticed the robot man hovering behind him and turned around, his fists in the air, ready for a fight. Tony let the armor fall into the ground and opened the helmet. He stared into Steve’s blue eyes for the very first time since 1945, watching as his lover’s face broke into a smile before turning into a wary frown.

“It’s me. Okay? Everything is fine”, he could hear the cars, most likely SHIELD, halting to a stop behind him.

Steve only stared at him, fists still in the air, not quite him.

“I was always losing my pencils; got really angry when I had an idea and couldn’t find the damn pencil to put it on paper. More often than not, that pencil was on my ear and you made fun of me, called me an old man for forgetting things like that”, Steve’s eyes softened at his words, his fists slowly coming down, “I made fun of people who gave flowers to their dames because they’re basically genitals, so you drew me a bouquet of dicks and gave it to me for Valentine’s Day”.

This time, Steve smiled. He let his hands fall down and marched towards Tony, engulfing him a tight hug. The engineer felt his eyes burn with tears, holding the Captain as close as he could, breathing in on the scent that was so very much Steve.

“I told you I’d always come home to you”, he whispered in Tony’s ear, making him huff a laugh amidst sobs.

“Took you long enough, Winghead”.

Someone cleared their throat near them, making Steve jump away from him. Tony was upset for a second, thinking the Captain didn’t want people to know about them, before remembering that Steve had absolutely no idea that their relationship was no longer a crime.

“Good to meet you, Captain Rogers. I apologize for that little show back there, but we thought it might be best to break it to you slowly”, Fury lied without blinking.

“Break what to me?”

“You’ve been asleep, Cap”, Fury replied; Tony discreetly held Steve’s hand, squeezing it, “For almost seventy years”.

“That’s… No, that’s insane”.

“It’s true”, Tony replied, making Steve turn his head to look at him, “I’m so sorry, but it’s true. I… There was an accident and I… I haven’t aged, I haven’t changed, but the rest of the world has”.

Steve nodded, looking lost once more.

“What years is it?”

“It’s 2011”.

He nodded once more.

“I guess I have some catching up to do”, he finally said, looking down at Tony with so much love and determination that his heart melted.

“I’ll be here to help you, Cap, every step of the way”.

“Let’s go back to Headquarters. We’ll talk there”, Fury proposed, turning and walking to the car.

Tony waved at the armor, sending it back to his tower.

“So, you make robot armors?”, Steve asked curiously, with a tentative smile, “Sounds about right”.

Tony just laughed and hit his shoulder with his own, putting his hands on his pockets as he walked beside Steve towards the car waiting for them. It would be a long road ahead, but he knew, as long as he had Steve, they would find a way. After all… They were finally home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the chapter is finally here. Honestly, I re-wrote this a thousand times and nothing I wrote was good enough, including this version, but I decided to just accept this and move on lol I realized any scene I wrote regarding their reunion would not be good enough, so I just wrote what felt natural. I hope you guys like it.
> 
> As always, leave kudos and comments, please!
> 
> PS: the "attentive to detail" part was based on this amazing post on tumblr! I'll leave the link down bellow!  
> https://historicallyaccuratesteve.tumblr.com/post/100522609393/nehirose-lohelim-winterthirst-sabacc

**Author's Note:**

> Small prologue, just to get things started. Hope you guys enjoyed it.  
> Please, don't forget to leave comments and kudos. It's your way of letting me know that there are people interested in reading this.  
> Thanks! Stay safe, everyone! :*


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